P&F Industries 7: Phineas and Perry: Intrepid Avengers
by EDD17SP
Summary: Picks up where "Something Wicked This Way Chuggs" leaves off. Phineas and Perry venture to the underworld to rescue their friends and find a killer is still alive…
1. A Very Strange Prologue

A Very Strange Prologue

"Okay, Major, go ahead."

"When we last saw our heroes, they were un-"

There was a knock at the door. "Major Monogram? Are you in there?"

The man behind the control panel sighed. "Should I let him in?"

Major Monogram frowned. "Yes, let him in," he said dejectedly.

The man rolled his chair across the floor and unlocked the door. Carl walked in, holding a cordless telephone.

"Sir I-" Carl stopped and observed the interior of the O.W.C.A.'s recording studio. Major Monogram stood behind the glass window that looked into the sound booth. "What are you doing, sir?"

"I'm recording a voice over for the 'previous scenes' segment that comes before a TV episode. You know, when there are previous events that directly relate to the plot of the episode that the audience needs to be reminded of?"

"Why?"

"Because, whenever a TV show does this, a secondary character that holds some sort of authority, like a school teacher, or a military officer, such as is my case, always introduces the recap," Monogram explained with an air of authority. "Except I'm going to do a voice over to narrate the entire flashback, not just introduce it."

Carl looked at the man in the rolling desk chair. "And you are?"

"The author."

"Oh, you mean the writer? You don't look like Dan or Jeff."

"No, not the writer. The author."

"Carl," Monogram interrupted. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, right." Carl looked a bit embarrassed and held up the phone. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz called for you. He's on hold."

Monogram came out of the sound booth and took the phone from Carl. He pressed the speaker button. "Hello?"

_"Hello? Francis, is that you?"_

"Heinz, I told you not to call me by my first name."

_"Oh, but it's okay for _you_ to call _me_ by _my_ first name?"_

In the background, Perry chattered.

_"Oh, right," _Doofenshmirtz said. _"Do you think you could send someone over here? Perry the Platypus and I both got caught in the trap I set for him and neither of us can get out."_

Monogram face palmed. "Well, all the agents are out in the field, and I'm in the middle of something, so you're just going to have to hold out for a while. Hey, if you're trapped, how did you reach the phone?"

_"I didn't. Perry the Platypus's wrist is right next to my face, so I pushed the button on his communicator with my nose and I'm calling you on that."_

Carl spoke up. "That's why we aren't using the video phone to take the call. The camera on Agent P's watch is aimed right up Doofenshmirtz's nose."

_"Hey, if you can," _Doof said, _"could you look at the video feed and see if you can see a Canadian dime wedged up inside my nose somewhere? I got it lodged in there two weeks ago and I couldn't get it out."_

The author looked at Carl. Carl shook his head.

_"Are you shaking your head?"_

Carl nodded.

_"That's what I thought. So, what are you so busy doing that you can't come rescue me and Perry the Platypus?"_

"I'm recording the voice over for the 'previous scenes' opening segment for _P&F Industries #7_," Monogram replied.

_"Why? It's not a TV show, it's a fanfic. How can it have a voice over if the whole thing is typed words on a computer screen? Besides, if you just tell the readers what the last story was, they can easily go back and read it themselves."_

The author turned to the Major. "He kinda has a point," he said.

_"See, I'm not completely stupid." _Perry chattered again. _"Yes, I am aware that I am caught in my own trap, I have eyes, you know."_

"You know what, Major Monogram?" the author said. "Why don't you just do…that…thing. That thing that I do before every story that lists the names of all the previous stories in order that should be read first."

"Yeah, okay," Monogram said, and handed Carl the phone before returning to the sound booth.

_"Um, hello? Remember me? OW! Perry the Platypus, why did you kick me?….Oh, sorry. Remember US?…Happy?…We're still on the line."_

"Just hold on a few minutes, we'll be done in a jiffy," Carl assured him.

Monogram cleared his throat and the author hit the record button.

"This story is the continuation of the climax of the "P&F Industries" series. The previous stories are: #1: The Mustang," "#2: El Camino de calle traviesa," "#3: Night on the Riviera," "#4: Baljeet and the Superchicken," "#5: Deep Sea Fishing For Barracuda," "#5.5 Isabella's Gremlin of a Day and other stories," and "#6: Something Wicked This Way Chuggs." They all must be read, in order, to understand the events leading up to this story, especially #1, the last chapter of #5.5, and, most importantly, #6, because this story is a direct continuation of #6."

"That was great," the author said. "But could you do it again? And this time, in bold face text, and with an extra line break before and after?"

Monogram was dumbstruck. "I'm not sure I can do that all again, and especially not again in bold."

_"I can do it in bold face!"_ Doof called out over the phone. _"Except, it'll be in italics, too, 'cause you know, I'll be doing it over the phone." _

"Okay, give it a shot. Oh, wait, just a sec," the author said. He took the phone from Carl, grabbed a rubber band from the desk, and walked into the recording booth. "'Scuse me, Major." He strapped the phone to the microphone with the rubber band and walked back to the control panel.

"Okay, go ahead, Dr. D."

**_"This story is the continuation of the climax of the "P&F Industries" series. The previous stories are: #1: The Mustang," "#2: El Camino de calle traviesa," "#3: Night on the Riviera," "#4: Baljeet and the Superchicken," "#5: Deep Sea Fishing For Barracuda," "#5.5 Isabella's Gremlin of a Day and other stories," and "#6: Something Wicked This Way Chuggs." They all must be read, in order, to understand the events leading up to this story, especially #1, the last chapter of #5.5, and, most importantly, #6, because this story is a direct continuation of #6."_**

"Perfect!"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh! Can I do the disclaimer?" Carl asked excitedly.

"Sure, why not."

Carl practically ran into the booth.

"Oh, this is ridiculous," Monogram said as Carl unstrapped the phone from the mic. "You're going to let an evil scientist and an intern-"

"A _paid_ intern, sir," Carl reminded him.

"-do the author's notes?"

"Yes, yes I am. Ready Carl?"

"Ready and willing!"

The author pushed the record button.

**"Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb or any of the songs used. Do not attempt any of the train operation described here at home. There is no guarantee it will work the way I wrote it and you'll probably get arrested." **

"Lovely, Carl, lovely. Now can you do the rating warning?"

"Sure can!"

**"P.S. You may have noticed that this story is rated "T" instead of "K+," with good reason. I can't tell you why without really giving away the plot, but, there is no strong language or suggestive themes. It's really good, though, so please read it! But, you've been warned."**

"Perfect! I think we're done here!" the author said.

_"Great, does that mean someone can come rescue me now?"_

_"Ngrgrgrgrgrgrgr."_

_"Can come rescue _us_ now?"_

"Sir," Carl said, looking at his smart phone, "Agent S just came back from his mission."

"Excellent. Doofenshmirtz, we're sending Sergei the Sail to rescue you and Agent P."

_"Oh, great! We're gonna be stuck here all day!"_

"Well, while you're waiting, can I run down my story with you guys?" the author asked.

"I don't see why not," Monogram said.

_"Perry the Platypus and I have nothing better to do. Happy? I remembered to include you this time."_

"Okay, so I think I'm gonna start by repeating the last few lines of episode #6, just for effect."

"That sounds good," Carl said.

"So, right after the words 'Chapter 1' centered on the middle of the page,"

Chapter 1

"Yeah, just like that, I'll say-"

"Wait a minute!" Monogram interrupted. "You'd better go on to a new page and start with 'Chapter 1" at the top again. Otherwise, this is going to be very confusing for the audience."

"Good point, Major. Okay everybody, hit that 'Next' button and we'll start this over again."


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Uh, Ferb? I think you'd better get up here and see this."

Ferb climbed up on the crate next to Steve and squeezed his own head through the hole.

Standing on the roof of the observation car was a very tall, very thin man clad in a dark suit. His extremely long arms were holding onto the sides of the car's roof, and the tentacles growing from it's back were extended in through the broken windows. Screams could be heard coming from inside the observation car.

"Holy Mary, Mother of GOD…" Steve made the sign of the cross over his chest. "What the heck is that thing?!"

Calm, cool, and collected as always, with no emotion in his voice, Ferb simply answered, "It would seem that Slenderman has found us."

Ferb hopped off the crate and stepped out of the cab onto the tender. He started climbing the ladder that led to the top, where there was a walkway.

"Uh, Ferb? Where ya goin'?"

Ferb didn't look back. "To save our friends," he said.

Steve still didn't follow him. "Are you forgetting that we are rolling backwards down a mountain and have no brakes?"

Ferb ignored him.

Steve sighed and hurried up the ladder behind the green-haired teen. "I'm gonna regret this, I just know it."

* * *

Eight tentacles had broken through eight windows, four on each side of the observation car. They moved with speed that would have rivaled a squid's tentacles, each coiling around its own victim several times. One grabbed Jenny, another grabbed Stacy. Coltrane was caught, as was Django. Adyson, Ginger and Irving each fell victim as well. One tentacle had aimed for Candace, but it struck the light fixture that Candace had knocked off the ceiling earlier instead. Candace shrank back into the corner of the open door frame that lead to the observation deck.

"Phineas!" she yelled. "What's happening?"

"I don't know!" he called back, freaked out himself.

The seven captives screamed and struggled against the muscular tentacles that constricted them. The tentacles started to retract out the broken windows, pulling their captives with them.

"Phineas!" Isabella screamed. "Do something!"

Phineas looked at Isabella, but did nothing. He just pushed her behind him and tried to shield her.

One by one, their friends disappeared out the windows, screaming desperately for help. The one tentacle that had been reaching for Candace snaked its way around the light fixture and slowly started toward the girl. Candace backed up, out onto the observation platform. Just as the tentacle reached for her, she slammed the door shut. The tentacle was smashed between the door and the frame, which she imagined was quite painful. The clasp managed to catch, and the monster could not pull his tentacle free.

The noise finally woke up Baljeet. "What in the name of all that is good is happening here?" he exclaimed at the sight of his friends disappearing. He jumped as he felt something around his waist.

The tentacles were back.

* * *

Ferb and Steve had made it across the tender and climbed down the ladder on the other end. They entered the baggage car, ran through, opened the door, hopped across the gap over the couplers between the cars, and landed on the small platform on the observation car.

Ferb slid open the door and the pair looked in.

Baljeet shrieked as he was lifted into the air toward the window. Another tentacle was snaking down behind Isabella's back. She shrieked as it grabbed her.

"Isabella!" Phineas yelled out. He grabbed one of her feet and pulled, trying to yank her from the tentacle's grip

"Phineas!" she yelled.

"Hold on, Isabella!"

Steve quickly slid the door shut. "Do we really want to risk our lives to save them? I mean, how much did we really like those guys, anyway? Personally, I never cared for Baljeet. I always thought he was kind of a know-it-all."

Ferb glared at him.

"Fine, we'll rescue 'em," Steve sighed.

Steve slid the door back open and he and Ferb charged into the Pullman. Steve yelled out in a battle cry.

Suddenly, two tentacles shot in through the windows and grabbed both Steve and Ferb.

"We probably should have thought that through more, huh?" Steve said. Ferb's only response was a nod.

The tentacles jerked back and both men fell to the floor, Steve's hat getting knocked off as a result. They started to retract out the windows again. Fortunately, unlike all of their friends, their arms were free, as they had been running. Ferb managed to grab the back of one of the seats and Steve grabbed the sides of the window frame.

"Arg!" he yelled out in pain, as shards of glass that still clung to the frame cut into his palms and fingers, but he held on.

Phineas was loosing his grip on Isabella's shoe, but it didn't matter. Her shoe came off in his hand and he fell backward onto the floor.

"Phineas!" Isabella screamed as she disappeared into the darkness outside.

"Isabella! No!"

No sooner was Phineas back on his feet than another black tentacle shot in through the window and tightened around his body.

"Ahhhhh!" he screamed.

The tentacle dragged Phineas across the floor, roughly banging him against the bulkhead and up toward the window. Like Ferb was doing just across the isle, Phineas managed to grab on to the back of the closest bench seat.

The three men were nearing their breaking point. "I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on," Steve gasped through clenched teeth.

"I think this is the end!" Phineas replied. "I'm sorry I suggested this trip. It was stupid."

"Hey," Steve said, "If I had to die anywhere that isn't in my Mustang, a steam train would probably be my second choice."

They strained to hold on in silence for another thirty seconds, groaning in pain as it felt like their spinal cords were being pulled apart.

"My hands are slipping!" Phineas called out. "I'm not gonna-"

"Does anyone else hear music?" Ferb interrupted.

They listened.

"I do hear music," Phineas said.

"Me too," Steve confirmed.

"What is that?" Phineas asked.

_Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah! Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah! Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah!_

One of the last windows that was still intact shattered and a small, teal figure somersaulted into the observation car, sticking a three point landing on the floor.

_Perry!_

Perry tipped his hat at Phineas, who's eyes widened with surprise.

"PERRY?!"


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Phineas would have described it as having a switch thrown in his subconscious. The mere sight of Perry, standing on his hind legs and wearing his fedora, was enough to trigger the memories suppressed seven years ago by the Amnesia-inator. The entire day that had been seemingly wiped from his life returned instantly, and Ferb's memories returned, too.

"Why is Perry wearing a fedora?" asked Steve.

There wasn't time for a lengthy explanation. Perry reached under his hat and extracted the pair of small cylinders that Doofenshmirtz had given him. Holding one in each hand, he pressed the buttons with his thumbs. From the open end of each cylinder grew a white, two foot plasma beam that tapered to a point at the end. One glowed blue, the other green.

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," Monogram interrupted. "Agent P has lightsabers?"

The author looked nervous. "Uh…yeah?"

"_Why_ does Agent P have lightsabers?

"Because…lightsabers are awesome?"

"That didn't answer my question. This isn't a _Star Wars _crossover. There can't be lightsabers."

"Well, there aren't any _Star Wars_ characters or any mention of the Force, just lightsabers."

"Where did he even get lightsabers, anyway? Isn't it 1910?"

"Dr. D made 'em."

Doofenshmirtz's voice came through the phone speaker. _"Patent pending, Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated." _

"You've been on the line this whole time?" Monogram asked.

_"Yeah. I told you I have nothing better to do on account of me being STUCK IN MY OWN TRAP! Besides, Perry the Platypus and I are on the edge of our seats here. Or, we would be, if we had seats. We're kinda all just tangled up in this rope thing, and it's sorta starting to cut off the circulation to my left leg, but anyway, come on, man, continue the story!"_

"Yeah, I can't write out the lightsabers. It's too big a part of the story, so you're just gonna have to deal with it."

Monogram crossed his arms. "Hmmm…I still don't like it, but go on."

"Thank you."

* * *

Perry gave each blade a quick, circular twirl, getting a feel for the weight of the lightsabers in his paws. Then he hopped up onto the seat that Phineas was holding onto and raised his right blade, the blue one.

Before he could bring it down, Phineas lost his grip.

"AHHH-!"

Perry slashed with the lightsaber and severed the black tentacle, just missing Phineas's feet. The triangle-headed boy crashed to the floor.

"Ow."

Perry deactivated both swords and back flipped two seats over to Ferb. The platypus wasted no time in re-firing the blades and cutting Ferb free. He jumped across the isle to rescue Steve.

The tentacle holding Steve suddenly slacked, and then gave a great yank. Steve screamed as the glass cut further into his palms and he was forced to let go. The mechanic was pulled out the window in an upward direction, toward the roof.

Once again, Perry switched off his lightsabers and jumped. He caught the bottom of the window frame, which was thankfully glass-free, and swung through, holding on until he was propelled backwards up onto the roof of the train.

The snow on the roof was several inches deep. The wind from the train's backward movement blew loose flakes into Perry's eyes, but the monster in front of him was easily visible.

Slenderman towered over the short platypus, still clutching the sides of the roof for support with his super long arms. One of his tentacles still clutched Steve, and was moving the man closer to his head.

"Perry! Help!" Steve yelled.

Just inches away from Slenderman's blank face, Steve was frozen with fear, too scared to even scream. The skin where Slenderman's mouth should have been suddenly split, actually tearing, revealing a bloody, torn maw, and Steve could tell that the monster was about to shove him into that hole, to devour him.

Perry jumped toward Slenderman, blades crossed in front of him. Slendy countered by whipping a tentacle at him, striking Perry in the face. Perry fell backwards, dropping the lightsabers in the snow beside him where the blades once again shrank back inside their hilts.

The distraction dealt with, Slenderman lowered Steve toward his mouth again. This time, Steve found his voice and screamed in terror.

Perry leapt to his feet and dug one lightsaber out of the snow. He ignited it and tossed it toward the monster. It spun through the air, missing Slenderman's body, but managing to sever the tentacle holding Steve. Steve crashed to the roof, but the force of the fall rolled him to the side, and his trip down continued all the way to the ground. An unrealistically loud crash was heard as he hit the snow covered track bed below.

"I'm okay," he called as the train rolled past him. He stood up quickly and tried to grab the ladder that led up to the cab of the locomotive, but he missed. He ran after the train, but it was rolling slightly faster than he could run. As a last resort to avoid being left behind, he jumped to the engine pilot (a.k.a. the cowcatcher) and climbed up to the horizontal steel just below the front of the boiler.

The lightsaber Perry had thrown boomeranged back to him, and he caught it in his paw. He scooped up the other hilt and ignited it, glaring at Slenderman menacingly. Slenderman closed his mouth, and magically, the open wound that had formed his mouth sealed shut and instantly healed. It appeared smooth and featureless, just as it had before.

Slenderman tried to grab Perry with his tentacles, but where lightning fast speed had captured the humans, the highly skilled platypus avoided his strikes with relative ease. When there was a short gap in the tentacle's jabs, Perry decided to go on the offensive, and when the next strike came he swung the lightsaber in his right paw, slicing through the tentacle. The severed piece fell to the roof, the nerves still twitching. Perry repeated the tactic with the next strike, and destroyed another tentacle.

Slenderman now had only three tentacles left intact, and one of them was still caught in the back door to the observation deck. He lashed out at Perry again, but this time, when Perry's motion toward the tentacle turned him sideways, Slenderman threw his other free tentacle at him from behind him. Perry sliced through the tentacle he aimed at with one lightsaber, the green one. The blue one was held out, behind his back, out of the way. The tentacle behind him knocked the blue blade from his hand and then wrapped around the platypus and lifted Perry into the air.

Perry tried to turn the lightsaber he still held backwards, to cut himself free, but Slenderman was getting smart now. The tentacle constricted, squeezing the platypus. The pressure and the pain caused Perry to drop the lightsaber. He watched as it fell nearly fifteen feet and switched off as it hit the roof of the observation car.

Slenderman's lower head physically ripped open again, the bloody, gapping mouth returning. The monster lowered Perry toward his mouth. Perry struggled to no avail, turning his head away from the gruesome fate that awaited him.

And then, the noticed he wasn't moving. He looked down and saw why.

"You leave him alone!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz yelled from behind the monster. He had a lightsaber of his own, a red one, and he had thrust it into Slenderman's lower back, as high as he could reach. Doof's sword was longer than Perry's, for he had scaled Perry's down to better fit Perry's height. The longer plasma blade had pierced all the way through, the tip sticking out of the monster's stomach.

The monster turned and "stared" at Doofenshmirtz, ignoring the weapon in it's gullet.

"Um…hi," the evil scientist said nervously.

It leaned down to Doof's level. Doof screamed and ran along the roof, toward the baggage car.

Meanwhile, Perry was able to wriggle free. Slenderman's grip had slacked when Doof's lightsaber had stuck him. He landed on the roof and felt around in the snow for his lightsabers. He found one and ran after Slenderman.

Doof jumped the gap between the cars, tripping in the process and crashing to the baggage car roof. Slenderman glared down at him.

But the monster came no closer. _He couldn't! His tentacle, the one trapped in the rear door, was stretched to it's limit!_

Perry jumped through the air, igniting the lightsaber, which turned out to be the green one, above his head. He landed on Slenderman's shoulders and plunged the blade into the monster's head. He twisted it sideways, the plasma burning through flesh, nearly cutting the head in half.

Perry switched off the lightsaber and jumped down to the roof, landing next to Doofenshmirtz. A few seconds later, Slenderman fell backwards, crashing down on the roof hard enough to rock the train car.

"Alright! Way to go!" Doofenshmirtz yelled. "Hi-five!" He held up his hand.

Perry glared at him.

"Oh, right. Kids were taken." He lowered his hand. "Sorry."

They climbed down the ladder on the back of the observation car, stepping onto the observation deck where Candace still hid.

"Perry?" Just as Phineas and Ferb had, the sight of Perry wearing his fedora, and Doofenshmirtz, triggered Candace's memory. "Heinz?"

Doofenshmirtz's memory had been erased that day, too, but seeing Candace restored that memory.

"Oh, hello Candace. What are you doing here?"

Perry ignored them. He jumped on Candace, wrapping his arms around her neck in a comforting hug. Candace didn't know why. She stood from the deck.

"Not now, Perry! We're under attack by some giant monster! You have to help us!"

Perry jumped down and reached for the door handle.

"Perry, NO!" Candace yelled.

Perry opened the door and the tentacle that had been stuck there fell limp to the floor.

"Oh. Did you already take care of that?"

Perry nodded.

"Oh. Thanks!"

The three entered the car.

"Dr. D?" Phineas said.

"Phineas! Ferb!" Doof called excitedly. Then, remembering the situation, "I am so sorry."

"Why?" Phineas asked, fear returning to his voice.

"Kid, was there anyone on this train that you knew, besides your sister here?"

"Everyone on the train is someone we- Wait, _knew_? Like, past-tense?"

Doofenshmirtz sighed. "They've all been taken by that monster."

Phineas turned white as a ghost. He sat down on the nearest seat, tears already beginning to flow from his eyes. Ferb placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, hoping to comfort him. "Isabella…" Phineas whispered. "No."

And then he screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The walkie-talkie in Candace's pocket crackled. She had forgotten she had it, having placed it in her pocket fifteen minutes ago, before the attack. She pulled it out and listened while Phineas began sobbing loudly. There were tears slipping down her own face, too, as she heard a voice say, _"Can anybody hear me?"_

She pushed the button and said, "Yes, Steve, I can hear you."

_"Is everybody alright?"_

"No. They've all…all been taken."

There were a few moments of silence. _"God…well before reality hits us, we need to stop this train before we either crash into something or gain enough speed from gravity that we derail on a curve. We have no brakes at all…well, I assume the locomotive brake still works, but the handle broke off."_

Ferb heard Steve's words and immediately headed for the front door.

_"And we need to do something fast before I fall off this thing. This little platform is slippery!"_

* * *

Ferb retraced the steps he and Steve had taken to get to the engine. Once back in the cab, he located the throttle and the reverser and, remembering what Steve had done earlier, he spun the reverser forward. He then opened the throttle just a quarter of the way, afraid that any more might place too much stress on the single intact side rod and snap it.

The wheels did not changer directions, but the train slowly decelerated. Just when it was about to stop, Ferb halved the throttle. When the train did stop, it had just enough forward throttle to hold it in place against the grade without it moving forward.

And then, Ferb's always cool, calm, collected composure broke. His legs suddenly could not support his body and he sank to his knees.

And Ferb Fletcher began to cry.

* * *

Phineas had begun screaming again. Candace and Perry, both crying themselves, were trying to comfort the boy, but to no avail. Doofenshmirtz sat three seats away, feeling awkward and wishing there was something he could do. Having remembered their trip to the second dimension seven years ago, he recalled that he had rather liked Phineas, Ferb, and Candace. He hadn't really officially met any of their friends, but he assumed they were as friendly as the Flynn-Fletcher siblings.

And Perry, of course.

Steve, who had lost all feeling in his limbs from the cold (and from the large bloody gashes on his hands from the broken window) and Ferb, who had had to support himself on the side of the train for the entire walk back from the engine, returned to the observation car. Ferb returned to Phineas, Candace and Perry, seeking comfort with his family, while Steve sank to the floor, forehead resting between his knees, fighting to hold back the tears. He even removed his sunglasses.

No one spoke, the only sounds being the occasional sob and Phineas's outbursts of incoherent screams. Doofenshmirtz was the only one not completely oblivious to the fact that the car's interior had become thermally equivalent to the arctic circle, thanks to the nine broken windows.

Heinz pulled his lightsaber from the pocket of his winter coat and examined it, simply because there was nothing else to look at. He had built the three blades for no real reason, other than that no one had ever successfully done it before. Like everything else he'd ever constructed, they worked perfectly, and these didn't have a ridiculous backstory or ludicrous purpose.

Doofenshmirtz's eyes lit up and a smirk crossed his face as he snapped his fingers, struck with inspiration. He quietly stood and slipped out the back door. He climbed back up to the roof, where he found the lifeless body of Slenderman still lay in the snow. Struggling against the weight, he shoved the corpse off the roof.

Inside, the Flynn-Fletcher family and Steve jumped as they heard the heavy body hit the ground. Suddenly scared, they fell silent and rushed to the window. Slenderman lay in a crumpled heap beside the track bed. A few moments later, Doofenshmirtz appeared next to the body.

The five rushed outside. They quickly stopped again at the sight of the monster.

"Come on," Doofenshmirtz coaxed. "He can't hurt you now."

The tears on Phineas's face were actually freezing to his cheeks as he advanced through the deep snow. He suddenly felt hot in the face, angry at the monster he saw before him. He forced his eyes away from Slenderman at a strange sound and a sudden red glow that had not been there seconds before.

Doofenshmirtz had ignited his lightsaber, the red glow turning the snow crimson.

"I understand the pain you must feel right now," Doof said. He stopped for a moment. _Where did those words come from? I don't ever remember being compassionate. Or wise, for that matter._ "But, you have good reason to be angry." He held out his arm, offering the lightsaber to Phineas. "Take out your anger on the monster that killed your friends."

All emotion evaporated from the four humans and platypus. Phineas stared at the lightsaber hilt before hesitantly reaching for it. The steel hilt was cold and the plasma blade gave off no heat. He now stared at the blade, just inches from his face.

Suddenly, all anger returned, more intense than before. Phineas raced for Slenderman's mangled head. He screamed, loud and long, raised the sword above his head and plunged the lightsaber through it. He let go, leaving the weapon embedded in the monster.

Doofenshmirtz pulled it out before it burned it's way out and fell over onto someone's foot. Phineas fell into Candace and Ferb's arms again and began to cry again.

"Isabella…" he whispered again.

Doof took a step backwards to give the family some space and tripped over one of Slenderman's tentacles. As he fell backwards, he instinctively flung his lightsaber away so he wouldn't accidentally impale himself with it. The red blade landed across Slenderman's torso, slicing a blade-width hole in the chest. From the new gash came a glowing orange light, brighter than the red of the lightsaber.

The Flynn-Fletcher siblings broke apart, noticing the radiance. They slowly moved over to the body.

Perry helped Doofenshmirtz up.

"Wow. Did I do that?" Doof asked.

Perry picked up the lightsaber. Something could be seen moving inside Slenderman's chest cavity.

Perry handed Heinz the red blade and ignited his own, comfortably shorter, blue lightsaber. Carefully, trying not to cut too deep, he slit the chest from the neck to the naval, and then across from side to side. He placed the lightsaber hilt back under his hat and knelt down.

Everyone watched, mystified, as Perry folded back the flaps of skin. In the center of Slenderman's chest, there were no internal organs, bones or tissue. The only thing occupying the empty space filled the entire chest cavity. It looked like a black hole, only it glowed orange and swirled purple.

"What the heck is that?" Candace asked.

"I have no idea," was all Phineas could say in response.

Perry noticed something else, up inside the throat. He cautiously reached in and pulled something out.

"Are those Irving's glasses?" Steve asked, mid-stride.

They all looked at him. They hadn't even noticed he was gone.

"Where have you been?" Candace asked.

"I figured you guys could use some space…and, so could I…I remembered seeing a first aid kit in the cab earlier and I went to bandage my hands." He held up his freshly bandaged hands. He had wrapped around his fingers, giving the appearance that he was wearing mittens. Blood had already turned the white gauze dark in some places. The strangest thing about him though, was that his dark hair was visible, for his hat, which had been knocked off earier, had yet to be retrieved.

"They _are_ Irving's glasses!" Phineas said, taking them from Perry and examining them.

Steve gestured toward Doofenshmirtz, ignoring Phineas. "Who are you, exactly?"

"I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, evil scientist."

Steve shrank back. "Okay, then. Why is Perry wearing a fedora and walking upright?"

"He's a secret agent. We'll fill you in later," Phineas said, the tears gone, determination in his voice. "I'll bet…somehow…he eats his victims and they go through this…vortex. No idea how he does that without a mouth."

"Actually, he does have a mouth," Steve said. "It, like, seals closed when it isn't open. It's freaky."

"If the vortex doesn't kill them…and assuming he eats them whole, maybe they're still alive!" Phineas exclaimed.

"And…how do we find out?" Candace asked.

"Hmmm…" Phineas had that glint in his eyes that he always got when he had a plan, whether it was a big idea or a glimmer of hope for his friends. "I know!" he quickly darted up the steps to the observation car and disappeared inside.

A moment later, he returned, carrying Irving's laptop and a compact camcorder. "Irving's gadgets have really come in handy today. His walkie-talkies, his glasses, his laptop and camera…if we save him, remind me to thank him later."

He knelt down in the snow next to Slenderman, ignoring the freezing moisture that seeped through his pant legs. He turned on the camera and, thanks to Irving's modifications, was able to sync it wirelessly to the laptop. Whatever the camera saw appeared on the laptop's screen. He picked up the camera and started to lower it toward the sinister-looking hole in the corpse.

"You're just gonna stick your hand in to the swirling vortex of doom inside a corpse?" Candace exclaimed.

"Good point." Phineas shrugged off his jacket, ignoring the cold, and tied the end of one sleeve around the camera. He tied the other sleeve around his wrist. "Better?"

Candace nodded her approval.

Phineas stood up and leaned over the vortex, the camera dangling below him. He gently lowered his arm, watching the camera drop closer.

The very instant the camera touched the vortex, the jacket stretched taught as if someone was pulling on the camera, but it was more like suction. The camera disappeared and Phineas was jerked off his feet. He fell across the body and his arm was sucked into the vortex, too.

"Ack! Help!" Phineas cried.

Ferb and Perry each grabbed one of Phineas's legs, Doof and Steve grabbed his free arm, and Candace grabbed Phineas's shoulder right above where his arm had disappeared. They pulled together, surprised at how strong the suction of the vortex was. After a few moments of straining, they pulled Phineas (and the camera) free.

"Sheesh," Steve muttered, "That was weird."

They all took a few moments to catch their breath and Phineas pulled his jacket back on. Finally, Phineas said, "Did anyone see what was on the screen?"

"No," was the general consensus.

"That's okay. I had it on 'record.'"

Phineas pulled the computer onto his lap and pressed a few keys. Everyone congregated behind him to see the screen.

Phineas pushed play. They watched the camera's view of being lowered toward the vortex. The instant it touched and was sucked through, the view on screen instantly changed. While the camera was not at all steady, being that it was dangling from a jacket sleeve, they could tell that it was in a cave-like surrounding. The rocks appeared a dull red color, and there was a dim, flickering light source somewhere. While there wasn't anything to see except rocks, they could hear something.

It was screaming.

And from years scream-inducing amusement park rides in the backyard, Phineas, Ferb, and Candace could easily determine that those who were screaming were their friends.

They shuddered.

"Oh my God!" Phineas said, the first time in his life he had ever used that exclamation. "They're still alive!"

**That's all I'm posting for now. More to come. Much, much more. This story is going to be super-ultra long. (In comparison to my previous stories, anyway.)**


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"I can't believe they're not dead!" Candace said.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Phineas exclaimed. "Let's go save them!"

Phineas took a few steps forward and prepared to jump into the vortex. Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabbed his arm.

"I wouldn't do that, kid," the scientist said.

"Why not?" Phineas asked, some anger evident in his voice.

"Because I've had experience with portals to other dimensions, and I'm not just talking about our little interdimensional trip. If you jump through it, there is a very good chance there isn't another portal on the other side you can just jump back through," Doofenshmirtz explained. "You'll be stuck there."

"Then how exactly did we get the camera back?" Candace asked.

Doofenshmirtz thought about it for a minute. "The camera was tied to the jacket sleeve, which was tied to Phineas here. The jacket acted like a bridge across the portal."

"Okay." Phineas thought hard for a minute. "We just need something to use as a bridge between our dimension and that one."

"I don't think your jacket is quite going to cut it again," Steve said, observed. "Look at the stitching on the sleeves."

Phineas looked at the seems on his jacket. They had been stretched almost to the point of breaking.

"That was only pulling on the weight of the camera. That suction is strong. All of us pulling together could barely pull your arm out," Steve said. "We're gonna need something way stronger to pull people through."

"Don't forget, we still need to fix the time machine," Candace said.

Steve put a finger to his chin. "Hmm…I have an idea. We passed a depot a while back. I noticed there was a crane car there. It'll perfect for pulling people in and out of that portal. It's big and heavy enough that the suction won't be able to suck it though the portal and the steam powered winch should be able to easily pull people back though. I mean, it's built to be able to lift a locomotive. Then I figure you can just tie a rope to the hook, tie the other end to yourself, and, whoever is running the crane can pull you out."

"Okay, that solves one problem," Phineas said. "What about fixing the time machine?"

"It's a rail depot. I'm sure there's plenty of miscellaneous mechanical parts lying around that you can fix the time machine with."

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do," Phineas started, a look of determination on his face. "Steve, you need to get us to that depot, fast! Who knows what those guys are going through. We heard them screaming. Ferb and Dr. D can fix the time machine while Perry and I go through the portal and rescue everyone. Steve can run the crane to get us in and out."

"Right, on it," Steve said. "Come on, Ferb. I can't run this thing alone."

Ferb followed Steve up to the engine.

"Guess that means we'd better get back on board," Candace said.

"Right. Come on everyone," Phineas said, waving for everyone to follow him. Perry and Doofenshmirtz carefully picked up Slenderman's mutilated body and carried it into the observation car.

They boarded the train just as the whistle blew three times. The train lurched backwards rather roughly, rolling down the mountain again.

* * *

Ferb followed Steve up the ladder back to the cab. The climb was rather painful for Steve, who had to use his shredded hands to climb.

Finally back inside, Steve looked at the reverser and partially open throttle. "Oh, so that's how you stopped the train! I was wondering what you did," he said to Ferb. "Nicely done."

Ferb wasn't paying attention. He was already hastily shoveling coal into the firebox.

Steve looked at the controls again and sighed. "So…running backwards down a steep, icy mountain with no brakes in the dark. This ought to be quite an adventure." He reached for the whistle cord, but could not grab the rope with his fully bandaged hands. "And I don't have any use of my fingers, either. Great."

He blew the whistle by putting his whole hand through the loop and lowering his whole arm. He spun the reverser with the side of his hand and pulled the throttle by pushing against the back of the Johnson bar with his wrist.

"Here we go."

Ferb frowned. He was currently wishing that Steve would shut up and stop acting like nothing was wrong. He considered knocking Steve unconscious with his shovel, but then he would have to run the train and keep up the fire, which he wasn't sure he could do alone.

"I just realized something," Steve said. "I never got my hat out of the observation car. I thought my head seemed way colder than it was before."

* * *

It was another twenty minutes before the train reached the depot. Without brakes, it was difficult to stop and they overshot the station. Stopping was much easier when they changed directions and started moving uphill.

They moved the train to an empty siding next to the crane car and chocked the wheels on both sides since the brakes were out of commission. Steve and Ferb damped down the fire in the Pacific locomotive and then climbed down to meet the rest of the group, who had already climbed from the observation car.

"What should we do with this thing?" Doofenshmirtz asked. He and Perry were carrying Slenderman's corpse again.

"Put it over there," Phineas said, pointing to the crane car, "directly under the hook at the end of the boom."

As they carried it over, Phineas turned to Ferb and Steve. "Steve, you start firing up the crane's steam engine while Ferb and I look around for anything that might be useful."

"Okay," Steve replied. He started to move to the cab of the crane car, but then spun on his heel and headed back toward the observation car. "Right after I retrieve my hat."

"Perry, Dr. D, Candace, can you carry the time machine out of the baggage car and bring it here? That way, you can work on fixing it while still being nearby if you're needed."

"What do I look like? A pack mule?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz protested. Perry grabbed his pant leg and dragged him toward the baggage car. Candace followed.

"Come on, Ferb. Let's go look in that shed over there," Phineas suggested, pointing to the little shack across the tracks.

They jogged over and pulled open the door. Just as had been expected, the shed yielded numerous mechanical parts for all aspects of railroading, not to mention some simple electronics for repairing signals and lights in passenger cars.

"Think you can repair the time machine with this stuff, Ferb?"

"Undoubtedly."

Phineas and Ferb turned to leave the shed again, and Phineas noticed something piled next to the door.

"Hey! Mountain climbing equipment!" Phineas exclaimed. "This is perfect!" He picked up a rope. "We can tie this to the hook on the crane, and then Perry and I can wear these harnesses. When we're ready to come back, we just clip ourselves back on to the ring on the end of this rope."

Ferb helped his brother carry the climbing gear back to where their friends stood by the crane car and re-explain their plan. Ferb then helped him put on the light harness. Phineas stepped away from his brother for just a moment to yell, "Are you ready, Steve?" back toward the cab of the crane car.

"Steam pressure is good," Steve called back as he leaned out of the cab. His black Ford Racing hat was perched on his head again. "Ready when you are."

"Can you lower the hook until it's almost touching the ground?"

Steve gave him a thumbs up and ducked back inside. A few seconds later, cable paid out the hook lowered until it was about a foot off of the roadbed.

Candace tied the end of a long, sturdy rope to the end of the hook while Doofenshmirtz clipped Perry into his harness.

"Are you ready, Perry?" Phineas asked. The platypus nodded and pulled down his fedora tighter. They both clipped their harnesses to the end of the rope.

"Okay. Let's do this." Phineas reached down and pulled back the skin in the middle of the torso, once again reveling the swirling vortex.

"Here, kid. Take this," Doofenshmirtz said, and handed Phineas his lightsaber. "You don't know what's down there. You might need it."

Phineas jammed the metal cylinder under his belt. "Thanks, Dr. D."

Ferb handed Phineas one of Irving's walkie-talkies. "I modified it. It's now capable of transmitting between dimensions. Steve has the other one. Let him know when you're ready to come out."

"Thanks, Ferb." He put the radio in his pocket. "Alright, here we go!" Phineas said.

The boy and platypus positioned themselves on either side of the portal. Phineas took a deep breath as if he were about to dive into a pool and jumped into the vortex.

"I'M COMING, ISABELLA!" he yelled, and he was gone.

Perry followed a second later.

The rope that was attached to both of their harnesses was sucked through the hole until it pulled tight against the hook. The suction actually managed to pull out more cable from the spool until Steve set the cable brake. By the time he did, the hook had disappeared into the portal, as well. It was a bit strange to see.

"Well, I guess that's that," Doofenshmirtz said. "Come on, Ferb. Let's try and fix that time machine."

As they got to work, Steve walked up. Candace looked him in the eye. "Did you hear what Phineas yelled before he jumped in?"

"Yes, yes I did," Steve replied. Then, as realization struck, "Oh!" He gave Candace a smirk. "You don't think…?"

She returned the smile, but it quickly faded. "I sure hope those two can save everybody, for Phineas's sake."

"For both of their sakes. Is 'sakes' a word?"

"I don't know."

Steve looked down at Doofenshmirtz, who was kneeling in the snow by the breaker panel on the back of the time machine.

"So," Steve said. "Now that we have some time…can I have a little more detail about the whole 'Perry/Secret Agent' thing? And…what did you say your name was, again?"

"I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Perry the Platypus's nemesis."

"Okay, then," he said, turning to Candace.

Candace sighed. "I started almost thirteen years ago when my parents took me and my brothers to adopt a pet…"


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"I'm feeling a little bit lost," Carl said to the author.

_"Who cares?"_ Doofenshmirtz said over the phone, _"Don't leave us hanging, here! Keep going with the story!"_

"What are you confused about?"

"Well, for starters, how exactly are they planning on getting all their friends back though the portal? Well, actually, even before that, were exactly does the portal lead to? And why are they bothering to explain everything to Steve? They're all gonna have to have their memories wiped of Agent P when they come back to the present. And why does Doofenshmirtz seem so willing to help? And how exactly is it even possible that Perry killed Slenderman? I've played all of those Slender games. Slenderman can't be killed."

"When do you play those games?" Monogram asked.

"On my lunch break."

"Is that why I always hear you screaming between 12 and 1 o'clock everyday?"

"Yeah…"

"Patients, my intern friend. All will be revealed by the end. All of the issues that are left hanging will be resolved in the really long epilogue. I already have it all planned out."

_"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know the answer to that last question!" _Doofenshmirtz said.

"Yeah?" the author yawned.

_"Yeah!"_

"Fine. Go ahead. Speak your words."

_"First of all, those are just video games. I'm sure Slenderman isn't like that in real life. In fact, I'll bet he's just a really misunderstood guy who was born without a face and has freakishly long arms and tentacles. He's probably very friendly and no one ever gives him a chance because he looks scary."_

"Yeah, sure," the author said. "Why don't you find him and talk to him. I bet you two would get along swimmingly."

_"Maybe I will! As soon as I get out of this stupid trap! I know Sergei the Sail is slow, but I mean, come on! He's taking forever!"_

"Could you just hurry up and answer Carl's question?" Monogram sighed. "I'd like to find out how this story ends before I have to go home for dinner. The Mrs. is making lasagna tonight and I don't want to miss out. Monty will eat it all before I get home if I'm not there when it's on the table."

"Sheesh, fine,"

Doof replied. _"Assuming that Slenderman _can't_ be killed, Perry the Platypus _can_ kill him because Perry the Platypus is just that awesome!"_

The author sat forward. "Huh. That is the exact explanation I was going to give. Nice going, Dr. D."

_"Perry the Platypus is like the Chuck Norris of the Cartoon world. Nothing can stop him!"_

_"Ngrgrgrgrgrgr."_

_"Awww, you're welcome, Perry the Platypus."_

"Can we get back to the story now? Please?" Monogram asked.

"Yes, yes we can."

* * *

Phineas and Perry shot out of the portal and landed hard on the ground. They appeared to be in an underground cave.

"And by the way, Carl, I forbid you from playing those games on your lunch break anymore."

"What the heck was that?" Phineas wondered aloud. Perry shrugged.

"Oh, great!" the author said. "Nice going, Major! By talking after the horizontal rule, your voice is now in the scene!"

"Hello?" Phineas asked, concerned and scared at the sound of the arguing disembodied voices.

"Sorry," Major Monogram said.

"I'm sure the audience is really confused, and so are the characters that were supposed to be in this scene, so let's have another horizontal divider and start the scene over again."

"What is going on?" Phineas asked.

"Don't worry, just hang on a sec."

* * *

Phineas and Perry shot out of the portal and landed hard on the ground. They appeared to be in an underground cave.

"What is this place?" Phineas wondered aloud. Perry shrugged.

The entire cave was made of red tinted rocks and was dimly lit from an indiscernible light source. It was only about fifteen feet wide and extended indefinitely in both directions.

A far-off scream echoed through the cave, and Phineas could tell it was Django. The triangle-headed teen glanced down the cave in both directions, trying to determine which way the scream had originated from. Unfortunately, the rock tunnel curved in the distance in both directions. There was no difference in either end of the cave.

Another scream reached Phineas's ears, this time sounding like Jenny.

"Uh…Uh…let's go this way," Phineas told Perry, randomly choosing one direction over the other.

They jogged down the corridor, noticing that it was gradually getting narrower. Eventually, the walls became so close together that they could go no further.

"Errg!" Phineas groaned, turning sideways and trying desperately to keep going. "Gotta…keep…moving!"

Suddenly, there was another far-off scream. This one was much further away and Phineas couldn't tell which of his friends it came from.

"We went the wrong way!" he practically yelled at Perry, and he awkwardly backed up until he could turn all the way around again.

The boy and platypus ran now that they were certain of their destination. They passed by their rope, which appeared to be dangling in mid-air instead of hanging from another portal in the ceiling as would be expected, and ran on.

They rounded the corner another 200 yards down the cave and stopped short, shocked at the sight before them.

The cave had suddenly opened up into an expansive cavern. It really wasn't much different from the cave they had just been in except that the ceiling was easily twice as high and thrice as wide. But it was what was in the cave that scared Phineas and Perry.

In the middle of the cavern were eleven flat slabs of rock. Manacled to each one of the slabs was one of Phineas and Ferb's friends. Each one of them was mortally wounded in some various way.

Jeremy had had his left arm severed off at the shoulder and his right leg was gone, as well. Both of Irving's legs were gone and he was covered in various stab wounds. Stacy's shirt had been ripped open, exposing her breasts, and one of them had been pierced by a very large knife, the steel blade still embedded in the flesh. There was blood covering every nearby surface, dripping off of the edges of the stone slabs.

The others all had similar injuries, missing limbs and harboring masses of gashes, but all were still alive, if just barely. None were worse, though, than Isabella.

Phineas nearly burst into tears at the sight of his best friend. Isabella's arms had both been chopped off, the left arm at the shoulder, the right one at the elbow. Her left leg was gone, as well. Her silky black hair had been sliced off messily a few inches from her scalp. She had been stabbed all over her body, but whoever had done so had only stuck the knife were there were no vital organs. Her eyelids fluttered and she moaned in pain every few seconds.

Phineas could not tear his eyes away from Isabella's broken body. He therefore did not realize why Perry was tugging on his pant leg and trying to drag him behind a large rock.

"What, Perry?" Phineas said, anger apparent in his voice.

Perry pointed into the cavern, fear etched on his face. Phineas had not even noticed.

_Slenderman_ was standing in the middle of the room.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The monster that was known only as Slenderman stood in the middle of the room. All eight of the tentacles that were attached to his back were intact and his head hadn't been ripped open by a lightsaber. There was one major difference, though. Two of his tentacles were holding large glistening knives.

Phineas dove behind the rock with Perry. "What the heck?" Phineas cried in a loud whisper. "I thought you killed him!"

Perry shrugged. Further realization hit Phineas.

"And we came here through a portal in his stomach! We went through his dead body to get to…wherever we are. So how is he still alive?"

Perry had no answer. They both carefully peeked over the top of the rock.

Slenderman was slowly pacing back and forth in front of the stone slabs that held their friends. Phineas followed his movements back and forth. Eventually, his eyes found their way to the large, glistening knives that the monster was holding in two of his tentacles. Something about the way he was holding the knives looked weird to Phineas, but he couldn't figure out why.

He looked closely at the hilt of one of the knives. _That's why it looks weird. There is no hilt! Only a blade! His tentacle _is_ the hilt! Somehow, he materialized a knife blade at the end of his tentacle. I wonder if he can turn the ends of his tentacles into other things, too…_

His thought process stopped as Slenderman stopped pacing. He was standing in front of Ginger.

Ginger had already suffered several injuries and was very weak. She was barely aware that Slenderman was standing before her.

The monster "stared" at her. He raised high the two tentacles that had become knife blades, positioning them above Ginger.

"Perry!" Phineas yelled, forgetting to be quiet. "We have to do something!"

Slenderman was in the process of plunging the blades down into Ginger's torso, but he stopped mid swing when he heard Phineas's outburst. He turned and faced Phineas and Perry, who quickly realized they'd been spotted.

"Uh-oh," Phineas squeaked. He turned to Perry, hoping the platypus agent would have some sort of solution.

Perry reached under his hat and pulled out his short blue and green lightsabers, which he ignited. Phineas got the idea and ignited the red one Doofenshmirtz had given him.

"Let's get 'im!" Phineas cried. They both vaulted over the rock…

…and found Slenderman standing right in front of them.

"Crud!"

"Phineas!" Isabella cried when she caught sight of him. The others sat up as far as their bonds would let them, the hope of rescue giving them strength.

Phineas was so startled that he forgot that he could easily strike the monster from this close, but Perry wasn't. The platypus threw his blue sword up toward the ceiling and struck one of the two tentacles that had transformed into a knife blade. The knife itself was cut clean off, the thin steel no match for a plasma sword.

Perry expertly caught the lightsaber and gave Slenderman a triumphant look. The monster looked at his severed knife- well it appeared that he was looking at it, but he had no eyes- and then down at Phineas and Perry.

In the course of about two seconds, all eight of Slenderman's tentacles began to shake, and then the two knives were sucked into the tentacles from which they sprouted. Then, from the tips of each eight tentacles, grew a black-glowing lightsaber blade. Slenderman stood unmoving for a moment, Phineas and Perry frozen in terror.

"Perry?" Phineas said, gripping the hilt of his lightsaber so hard that his knuckles turned white while not averting his gaze from the monster before him. "I think we're in trouble."

* * *

_"Not to interrupt, but this story is getting kinda weird," _Doof said over the phone.

"Well I'm sorry, but this is the way I wrote it," the author replied. "With lightsabers. And now Slenderman has lightsabers. How else was there supposed to be a good fight?"

"It also seems a bit…grisly," Carl said. "You know, compared to the previous stories in the series."

"Look," the author said, getting exasperated. "I know that this story arc doesn't really fit with the other stories in my series. But, this is how I wrote it. I don't know how to get where I want to go with the plot unless I write it this way. The whole _point_ is that this story arc is supposed to stick out like a sore thumb. Now, would you quit interrupting me and just let me finish the story?"

The two men in the room and the phone were silent.

"Good. Thank you."

* * *

Phineas and Perry took a step back. Slenderman did not move. They stared at the monster, wondering if they should run.

With no warning, Slenderman lashed out with all eight lightsaber-baring tentacles. Phineas and Perry both brought their own lightsabers up to a defensive angle, blocking the attack. Four black blades pushed hard against Phineas's red blade and four more lodged against Perry's crossed blue and green ones.

Slenderman kept his attackers in place by still holding two blades against each of his attackers' weapons and drew back four arms, which he then brought straight down from above, assuming his prey would not be able to move.

He was wrong. His prey were smart.

Phineas stopped holding back against the two offensive swords and let their force push him backwards a few feet. The two darksabers plunged into the ground where he had just been standing, also managing to sever the two tentacles that had been holding against Phineas, freeing the boy from attack.

At the same time, Perry took a different approach. He switched off both of his lightsabers and rolled forward under the darksabers in one motion, springing up behind Slenderman while the monster's attack missed and cut into the cave floor.

Perry turned and tossed his green lightsaber at Slenderman's head. The blade hum seemed to pulsate as it spun though the air.

And then the monster snatched it from the air with one of his true arms. He brandished it at Perry, but was too far away to strike with it.

Perry took a few nervous steps backwards.

"Perry!" Phineas called.

The platypus looked to where Phineas was pointing. Perry switched off his remaining blue lightsaber and leapt toward a nearby rock, catapulting off the side and launching around Slenderman toward his owner. Phineas dropped his lightsaber, not wanted to spear Perry with it, and caught the platypus in his arms.

Perry jumped down, grabbed Phineas's lightsaber, tossed it to the boy, and reignited his own lightsaber. Phineas did the same and they stood, ready to fight.

Slenderman actually ran at them, swinging his lightsaber-tentacles and Perry's green lightsaber wildly.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Phineas screamed, and he and Perry took off back through the narrower cave. There was no way they would survive that many blades attacking them at once, and certainly no with their enemy running at them full tilt.

Slenderman was so tall he nearly scraped his cranium on the ceiling, and he held his arms and tentacles in such a way that he completely blocked the cave. Phineas and Perry were forced into a retreat.

"Perry! There!" Phineas yelled, pointing ahead. There, seemingly dangling from the cave roof, was the hook from the crane car. "We're gonna have to go back! We'll be killed otherwise!"

Perry nodded in understanding. They poured on the speed as Phineas pulled his walkie-talkie from his pocket.

* * *

"…so then we all had to have our memories wiped by the O.W.C.A. because no one is allowed to know Perry is a secret agent," Candace explained to Steve. Doof and Ferb were both still working on the time machine, their repairs nearing completion.

"Why?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't know."

Doofenshmirtz spoke up as he tightened a screw. "I believe the exact words that Major Monobrow used were: 'It's too dangerous. You know too much.'"

"Why is it too dangerous?" Steve asked.

"I guess because they're afraid that the agent's nemesis would come after their host family," Candace speculated.

"I would never do that!" Doofenshmirtz said. "I mean, I might have been inclined to play a few pranks, but Perry the Platypus is my one and only nemesis _and _my best friend. I would never try to hurt his familiy. Besides," he continued, "you guys are cool. I like feeling like part of your group again."

"It's nice to have you as part of the group again," Ferb told the scientist.

"Aww. That's so sweet of you!"

"Hang on, back up," Steve interrupted. "If your memories were wiped, how do you remember all of this now?"

Candace, Ferb and Doofenshmirtz all looked at each other.

"I…don't…know," Candace finally got out.

There was silence for a few moments before Doof spoke up.

"Maybe, it's because you sa-"

"Steve! Steve! Can you hear me?"

Doof fell silent as Steve grabbed the radio from his pocket.

"Yeah, Phineas?"

_"We need you to get us out of here! NOW!"_

Steve took off for the crane car's cab, and the others stood and jogged the few feet to the edge of the portal. "Okay, I'm almost there!" he called into the speaker. He took a flying leap into the cab and slammed down the lever that reeled in the cable. The giant steam-driven spool began turning, and moments later, the hook appeared from the swirling orange portal, followed by the rope tied to it and finally, Phineas and Perry.

Candace and Ferb grabbed the two would-be rescuers and pulled them from over the portal to solid ground on the track bed next to Slenderman's body. Phineas and Perry proceeded to unclip their harnesses and then collapsed on the group, panting for breath.

"What happened?" Candace asked.

"I -*pant, pant* -don't know. *pant, pant*" Phineas gasped. "The others- *pant, pant* are still alive- *pant, pant* but they're really badly injured. *pant, pant* and worst of all-"

"What the heck is that?!" Doofenshmirtz yelled, pointing at the portal in the center of Slenderman's body.

A single, black, snake-like tentacle was squirming it's way up from the center of the portal. Another followed it, then another. Everyone watched, frozen with fear, unsure of what to do.

Finally, as a featureless head appeared, Phineas screamed, "RUUUUUUN!"

Phineas and Perry pulled themselves up out of the snow and took off, Candace, Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz right behind them. Steve, however, did hear Phineas's scream over the noise from the crane and did not vacate the cab.

Phineas and Perry risked a glance back as they neared the station platform. A lightsaber-less Slenderman had just pulled himself completely from the portal and was just starting to advance towards them.

"Quick!" Doofenshmirtz yelled, "Into the station! We can barricade ourselves inside!"

Ferb was in the lead, his long legs carrying him faster than the others. He reached the door first and pushed it open, then stood aside as the others rushed past. Then he slammed the door shut.

"Let's push this desk in front of the door!" Phineas yelled. Ferb pulled and Phineas pushed, and they moved the heavy desk into place, effectively blocking the inward swinging door.

"You know, this door would never stand up to code in modern times," Ferb said nonchalantly. "The doors in all commercial buildings must open out incase of fire."

"Well at the moment, I'm really glad that building codes haven't been standardized yet," Phineas said. "It would be much harder to block the door if it swung out."

"Uh, guys?" Candace squeaked, suddenly looking even more scared than before. She was hastily looking around the room, searching for something. "Where's Steve?"

* * *

Slenderman took about two steps toward his fleeing captives, and then stopped. He turned his head and "looked" in the direction of the crane car's cab. The monster slinked silently over and stopped alongside just as Steve opened the door and poked his head out.

"Hey, are you guys okaaaaaa…Oh," he said as he noticed Slenderman standing nearly eye level with him. "Um…Hi."

Neither moved for a few seconds. Then, unexpectedly, Steve slammed the door shut and ran across the inside of the cab to the door on the opposite side, the side that faced the battered charter train on the next track over. It only took about three steps to get there, but he only took one before the door he had just been leaning out of was ripped from its hinges and was flung across the yard. It crashed into the side of the station.

* * *

"I thought he was following us!" Phineas cried in response to Candace's question.

"I didn't even notice!" Candace responded.

"I don't want to die!" Doofenshmirtz yelled. The evil scientist had curled into a fetal position on the floor and was sucking his thumb.

"What are we gon-" Candace was interrupted by a loud crash that came from the side of the station building. It sounded like something had been thrown against the wall outside. "What was that?!"  
"I don't know," Phineas replied, shaking in fear. He stopped quaking very suddenly when he said, "Hey…where's Perry? He was here a second ago."

* * *

Steve flung open the door just as Slenderman pulled himself into the cab. The incredibly tall monster was oriented almost completely horizontally, and moving towards Steve fast. Steve jumped out of the cab, but the bottoms of his shoes were wet, and he slipped as he tried to push off. He slipped and fell, his left foot striking the edge of a crosstie. There was a sickening cracking sound, and Steve fell to the ground with a scream.

"ARGH! My ankle!" He instinctively clutched his broken ankle, which only made it hurt worse. "AUUUGH!"

Slenderman suddenly appeared above him. The monster slid out of the cab onto the ground, returning to an upright postion as he did so. Steve watched as Slenderman raised his six intact tentacles and black lightsaber blades erupted from the tips of each one. Perry's captured green lightsaber appeared in his right arm.

Steve gulped nervously.

Slenderman turned his tentacles upsidedown, aiming the lightsabers at Steve. Then he struck, extending his tentacles. The black blades flew down towards the injured man with lighting speed.

Steve gasped and rolled in the snow, barely avoiding the furthest most blade. Slenderman then changed tactics, pulling his tentacle/blades from the snow and flinging them one at a time at Steve. Steve rolled back and forth, trying desperately to avoid the lightsabers.

Suddenly, Slenderman changed his attack again. Before Steve even realized what was happening, one of Slendy's six lightsaber blades disappeared from the end of a tentacle. It was replaced by old-fashioned hunting rifle, only the riffle had no stock. Just as the tentacle had been the hilt for the lightsaber or the handle for the knife, the black tentacle from which the gun had grown was the stock.

The shift happened in a period of about one second. Slendy took aim-

Steve started to roll out of the way

-and fired.

Steve managed to get out of the bullet's direct line of fire, which had been aimed at his chest, but could not miss it completely. When Steve had rolled as far as onto his side, the bullet tore into his left shoulder blade and exited out the back. The force of being hit pushed him onto his back.

"GAAW!" he cried as the round put a hole through his body. He found himself staring up into the cloudy night sky, framed by the top of Pacific locomotive's tender on one side and the roof of crane car on the other. The view was quickly blocked out as Slenderman leaned over him.

The snow around Steve's upper body was already becoming stained a dull vermillion color, and Steve could feel the warm blood trickling down his back. He watched helplessly as Slenderman raised his remaining seven lightsaber blades high. The black glow of the lightsabers were invisible against the pitch-black sky, so, except for the green one, it just appeared that Slenderman was holding five white sticks. Once again, the monster turned the tips of the blades down, aimed at Steve.

Steve closed his eyes and turned his head away, prepared to die. Then suddenly, he heard a hiss that he swore was a lightsaber igniting. He opened one eye just in time to see his savior running at Slenderman full tilt, a short glowing blue lightsaber at the ready as he charged.

* * *

When Doofenshmirtz heard that Perry was gone, he sat up off the floor. He looked around the room.

"There!" he yelled pointing. "That window was not open when we came in! I have a habit of checking to see if windows are open or closed. Also, it's creating quite a draft."

Sure enough, one of the double hung windows on the far wall was open about six inches. They all rushed over. Ferb pushed the window open and they all looked out into the night.

And there was Perry, running as fast as his little platypus legs would carry him across the snow covered yard. There seemed to be a glow coming from in-between the crane car and the charter train, and the door on the side of the crane car was missing.

"Perry!" Phineas called out, but the platypus could not hear him. He disappeared behind the crane car.

Phineas tore away from the window and rushed back to the door. "Come on! We gotta help Perry!" He started pushing against the desk, and only when Ferb reached him and helped him did it slide out of the way.

Phineas tore open the door and ran outside, already fumbling for the lightsaber on his belt as he ran.

"Phineas, wait!" Candace yelled after him.

But Phineas was a man on a mission. He would not wait. He would not give up the fight until he had rescued his friends.

And Isabella.

First, though, he had to help his secret agent pet platypus defeat the horrible monster once and for all, for the second time, actually.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Slenderman heard the lightsaber ignite, too. He turned away from his intended target, the bleeding man on the ground, and faced the armed platypus.

Perry did not stop his mad dash at Slenderman. The monster turned his own blades to face the charging platypus, and just when Perry was in rage of his tentacles, Perry jumped. He landed against the side of the baggage car and kept running, his momentum allowing him to defy gravity. He ran right past Slenderman, and then twisted around and pushed off with his feet against the side of the railcar. He flew through the air, perpendicular to his original path, parallel to Slenderman's back, and lashed out with his lightsaber. The blade sliced through three tentacles in flight, before Perry's feet landed against the side of the crane car. He pushed off again, and this time flew diagonally between the two trains. He managed to slice off one more tentacle before he landed on the snow covered roadbed next to the baggage car.

* * *

"For those of you keeping score," the author said, "Slenderman now has one black lightsaber/tentacle, the rifle/tentacle, and Perry's green lightsaber. All of his other tentacles have been severed."

"Oh, I counted wrong," Carl said. "Good thing you said that. I still had Slenderman with three darksabers."

"Did you count the ones that Slenderman severed himself?" Monogram asked.

Carl looked skeptical. "Slendy severed his own…? When?"

"It was-"

Doofenshmirtz interrupted. _"It was back when Phineas and Perry the Platypus first engaged Slenderman in combat. Phineas tricked him into cutting off his own tentacles."_

"Ohhhh," Carl said. "Now I remember."

"Don't blink or you'll miss it," the author joked.

* * *

Perry spun around to face Slenderman and found the tentacle that had become a rifle was pointed right at him.

"Perry! Look out!"

Phineas had just rounded the corner of the crane car and was sprinting right at his pet. He tackled Perry just as Slenderman fired. They could hear the clang of metal striking metal as the bullet ricocheted off the side of the rail where Perry had just been standing.

They both pulled themselves up and immediately rolled out of the way as Slenderman stabbed at each of them with one plasma sword. Perry came up out of his roll into a crouching position and pushed against the ground with his feet. Perry's green lightsaber was still embedded in the ground where Slenderman had stabbed it. The platypus's flight took him right over top of Slendy's arm, which was trying to pull the lightsaber free from the ground, and swiped down, slicing through the freakishly long appendage.

Perry landed on the ground several feet away and looked up at his adversary. There seemed to be something different about the monster, and not just the scorch marks at the end of his right arm and many snake-like appendages.

Phineas ran over to Perry, finally igniting the red lightsaber Doofenshmirtz had given him. "Does something seem different about him?" Phineas asked. Perry nodded.

They stared at the monster, who did not attack. In fact, Slenderman no longer seemed interested in Phineas and Perry. He actually appeared to be focused on something else, but it was difficult to tell without a face to hint what he was looking at.

Suddenly, realization struck Phineas. "Perry! He actually looks hurt!"

Perry shrugged.

"It doesn't make sense. He almost didn't seem to notice when his tentacles were cut off, but now it looks like he's favoring his arm. I think he actually felt pain from that."

Perry grinned and nodded. He quickly ran over and snatched up his green lightsaber from where it was still embedded in the ground. Just as his fingers closed around the hilt, Slenderman suddenly shifted his attention back to Perry. He took aim with his tentacle gun.

"Perry!" Phineas yelled.

But Perry was ready this time. When Slenderman fired, Perry twirled both of his lightsabers in front of his body with enough speed that the blades blurred and appeared to turn into circular shields of blue and green. The bullet disintegrated when it hit the spinning blades.

Slenderman did not move for a brief moment, assessing how to react to his opponent's seemingly new ability. His hesitation, however, was exactly what Phineas needed. The boy leapt forward and swung his lightsaber at the monster's left arm.

The monster threw back it's head as if it were screaming. Phineas capitalized on this moment of apparent pain and thrust his lightsaber straight into Slenderman's side.

Slenderman fell.

* * *

"Once again, for those of you keeping score," the author said, "That's Perry and Phineas two, Slenderman ZERO."

* * *

Phineas walked up to the fallen body of the supernatural being lying in the snow. With hatred in his eyes, he pulled the red lightsaber free.

Slenderman raised his head, as if to look at Phineas. The teen flipped the red lightsaber around backwards in his hand and raised his arm high. Ferb, Candace, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who had just crept around the side of the crane car, watched him do this.

Phineas stood over Slenderman, blade raised, for a long time without moving. Slendy, still alive, seemed to be watching him. When Phineas finally spoke, Ferb, Candace and Perry had never heard such anger and wrath in his voice.

"This is for my friends!" he spat through clenched teeth. With as much force as he could put behind the lightsaber, he thrust the weapon down into Slenderman's chest.

Slenderman's head slowly sank down into the snow. Phineas let go of the lightsaber hilt and just stared at the impaled corpse. Perry quietly walked behind Phineas to where the head lay and lopped it off, just to make sure he was absolutely dead.

Candace went over to Phineas's side. He was still seething, fists clenched, the red glow from the lightsaber reflecting in his eyes, making him appear quite evil. She slowly took hold of the hilt and switched off the lightsaber.

"Uh, hey, guys?" Steve said, pain evident in his voice. "Remember me? The guy who's been SHOT?"

Phineas looked at Candace. "Help Steve. Perry and I are going back to rescue everyone."

Candace nodded, a sympathetic expression on her face, handed Phineas back the lightsaber and hurried over to help Steve.

"I'm here, Steve," she said as calmly as she could. His gray hoodie had been stained a dark red by the blood, as had a large radius of snow around him.

"I can't feel my arm," he croaked, and coughed up a wad of blood.

"It's gonna be okay, I gotcha."

Phineas, meanwhile, was attaching his harness to the end of the rope on the crane again. The first Slenderman body was still lying across the tracks, the portal still in his chest cavity, the head still mutilated.

"I'm really confused," Dr. D said. "How exactly is it that there's two of them?"

"No idea. We'll worry about that later," Phineas said quickly. "Can you come, too and give me and Perry a hand bringing our friends back?"

Doof smiled kindly, a very rare expression for him. "Of course, kid."

Phineas turned to Ferb. "We'll need you to work the crane, Ferb."

Ferb nodded and headed for the cab while Perry strapped Doofenshmirtz into another mountain climbing harness.

"Ready?" Phineas asked.

"Ready," Dr. D said.

"Ngrgrgrgrgrgrgr."

"Ready, Ferb?" Phineas called to his step-brother. Ferb leaned out of the doorless doorway and gave a thumbs up.

"Okay, let's go!" Phineas said.

"Should we count down from three, just to make sure we're all on the same page?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"No," Phineas said, and jumped.

"Wait, wait I'm aaaAAAAHHHH!" Doof screamed, as he was pulled off his feet by Phineas's rope and sucked upsidedown into the portal.

Steve pulled the walkie-talkie from his pocket and held it out to Candace. "Give this to Ferb," he said weakly. "He's gonna need it."

"Okay." She took it from him and turned without standing up. "Ferb!" she called. She could see him sitting at the controls inside the crane from her viewpoint. He turned. "Catch!" She tossed him the radio and he caught it.

Candace turned back to Steve. She had taken off her light jacket and tightly tied one sleeve around Steve's shoulder to stem the flow of blood. "I'm gonna go see if there's any medical supplies in the station. I'll be right back. Don't move your arm."

"Couldn't if I wanted to."

She stood and took off for the station at a jog, leaving Steve lying on his back in the snow. It was just starting to flurry again.

"Ferb?" Steve called out, which provoked another fit of coughing.

Ferb leaned out and looked down at the twenty-two year old on the ground.

"Remember earlier I asked you to remind me to say 'no' if anyone ever asked me to operate a train again?"

Ferb nodded.

"If anyone ever asks me to go on a time-traveling trip again, remind me to say 'no' to that, too."

Ferb rolled his eyes and returned to the controls. Steve looked up at the stars. And then, the heavily bleeding man did the last thing anyone would expect. Through the burning pain in his arm, Steve started to laugh.

Candace returned, carrying a small suitcase with a red + on the side. She gave Steve a skeptical look as she knelt down beside him again. "What's so funny?"

"I just remembered why we came here in the first place!" he choked out, still laughing. His breathing was labored and his skin was becoming pale. "Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!"

And then he blacked out from the blood loss.


	9. Super-Long Epilogue-Part 1

Epilogue

"Uh, excuse me," Monongram said, "But I highly doubt we can be at the epilogue. There's still so many holes in the plot that haven't been resolved yet."

"Yeah," Carl said. "We haven't learned whe…"

"Guys, guys, guys," the author said, cutting Carl off. "Just be patient. This Epilogue is going to be super-long. So long, it's going to have three parts. So long, it could probably be a story by itself. I'm just calling it the epilogue because there's a big chunk of time being jumped over here."

"You mean you're not continuing from the end of the last chapter?" Carl asked.

"Nope."

"Then where are you picking up from?"

"It's gonna say-"

_Three Weeks Later, present day_

"Yeah, just like that."

_"You're gonna skip over three weeks worth of time?" _Doof asked. _"But, what about me, Phineas and Perry the Platypus rescuing everyone from…where are we rescuing them from, anyway?"_

"I haven't said yet what that cavern-place is yet. That's one of the things that will be revealed in this super-long epilogue. As for the rescue scene, it's not really all that important."

"There's no semi-romantic scene with Phineas and Isabella when they go back?" Monogram asked.

"Nope. Everyone was unconscious when they went back, 'cause, ya know…epic blood loss. Missing limbs and stab wounds and all that. But every plot hole will be filled in the super-long epilogue."

_"Well, then get on with it, man!"_

"Ngrgrgrgrgrgr."

"Sure. But I think I need to change the heading…"

* * *

Super-Long Epilogue (Part 1)

_Three Weeks Later, present day_

For the first time in almost a month and nearly two whole stories, the black-and-yellow 1970 Mustang drifted through a left hand turn into the parking lot. It continued it's drift in a full circle and then spun another 180 degrees. The driver backed into a parking space and turned off the ignition just as a red-and-black '69 Chevelle SS turned into the parking lot, lacking theacrtics.

Steve Marcis climbed from his Ford as the Chevelle pulled into the empty spot next to him. Phineas, Ferb, and Candace exited the car.

"Must you drive like that?" Phineas asked, a bit of annoyance in his voice and on his face.

"Hey, I've been in the hospital nursing a gunshot wound and a broken ankle for two weeks," Steve responded. "I have to get back into practice."

"Come on, guys," Candace soothed, looking at her watch. "We're gonna be late."

Phineas shot Steve a dirty look as the group headed toward the non-descript two-story brick office building.

"Hey! Look at that!" Steve said, suddenly excited. He pointed to a orangy-tan car. "That's the Buick Riviera Buford and I restored! What are the odds?"

"Evidently, pretty good," Ferb said.

They reached the front door. Phineas pressed the intercom button next to the door. The next thing they knew, the sidewalk beneath them fell away.

"AEK!" Candace shrieked. The four found themselves sliding down a slanted tube that led under the building. The tube emptied them out into a dimly lit conference room. The floor and walls were all blue, as was the huge oval table in the middle. Three men sat at the table, all of whom the Flynn-Fletcher siblings recognized. Steve only knew two of them.

"Good Morning, children," Major Monogram said in greeting.

"Hey, my homies!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz called and waved awkwardly.

Carl said nothing.

"I suppose you're wondering why we called you here today, and-" Monogram stopped mid-sentence. "What's _he _doing here?" he asked pointing at Steve.

"Hey, I know you!" Steve said, completely ignoring the question. "You're that guy who bought my Riv! How's she running?"

"Excuse me, mister, but this is supposed to be a private meeting with the Flynn-Flecter family, so if you don't mind…" He gestured to the door that was situated to the side of the tube.

"Oh, okay, no problem." He headed for the door. "I'll just wait for you guys outside." And with that, he left the room.

Monogram sighed. "Have a seat, children."

"Actually, I'm twenty-three," Candace said as they each chose a seat around the conference table.

Monogram didn't respond. He opened a manila folder that sat on the table in front of him. There were numerous papers inside.

"This is Agent P's report on the '1910 Incident,' as we have dubbed it," Monogram said, sounding quite serious. "The occurances in this incident are so extreme compared to most of the missions our agents are sent on, we felt it was necessary to bring you in for a…discussion."

Phineas, Ferb and Candace shifted uncomfortably.

Monogram took a deep breath before continuing. "Here is the crux of our problem: you and the other twelve people who traveled to 1910 now know Agent P's secret profession. Again. Well, not Mr. Marcis. This is the first time he's heard about it." He turned to Doofenshmirtz, who had been surprisingly quiet. "And you know Agent P's secret identity and family. Again."

Doofenshmirtz laughed nervously and twittled his thumbs.

"Now, we could just wipe your memories like we did the last time this happened seven or eight years ago. There's two separate issues with that. First, the Amnesia-inator we used to wipe your memories last time can only suppress memories immediately backwards from the moment when we hit you with the ray. We can't pick and choose which memories to suppress, which means you would have to loose the last three weeks of your life. And, since you apparently remember your little adventure…however many years ago it was…we would have to wipe your memories of the last seven or eight years, too."

The Flynn-Fletcher siblings looked down at the table, as did Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Monogram flipped through a few pages in the folder until he found the one he was searching for. "The other issue is this list of injuries sustained by your friends. It would be hard to explain a bunch of teenagers who think they're ten years old and suddenly are missing several appendages and have stab wounds. And, if we can't wipe your memories, then we will have no choice but to relocate Agent P to another host family."

No one spoke for several moments. All eyes except Carl's were downcast. Even Major Monogram seemed afraid to make eye contact with the others in the room.

Carl, deciding that the Major wasn't going to continue, spoke up. "So, now that you've heard the issues with the situation, we have a proposal to make to all of you that will allow you to keep both your memories and Agen- I mean Perry."

"Speaking of which, where is Perry?" Candace asked, the only one currently strong enough emotionally to speak. "Shouldn't he be here for this?"

"He'll be along shortly," Carl assured her. "Now, here is our proposal: You can keep your pet on two conditions. First, Agent P must resign his position here at the O.W.C.A."

"Well, that doesn't seem very fair," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "To me, or to Perry the Platypus! I don't want a new nemesis! Perry the Platypus is my best friend."

"Well, the second condition is that you must retire from being evil and sign this 'I Give Up Evil' affidavit. It's just like the one you signed the last time you temporarily gave up evil."

Doofenshmirtz was dumbstruck. "But- But…B-but I don't want to give up evil! It's all I have! I can't do anything else!"

"Well to be honest, Heinz," Monogram said, "you're inventions haven't really been very threatening or evil lately. They're been more…childish and bland."

"But I…!"

Phineas found the courage to speak up. "Dr. D?"

Doofenshmirtz looked at Phineas. The triangle-headed teen was looking at him from across the table with teary, pleading eyes.

"Please, Dr. D, I don't want to loose Perry, and I don't want to loose you, either. We couldn't have made those prosthetics without you, and we consider you our friend. And to be honest, you don't really seem all that evil."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was speechless.

* * *

_"Hold on a second. What prosthetics?" _Doofenshmirtz asked.

"Dude, seriously?" the author said, slightly exasperated. "I told you, everything will be explained. We actually didn't get to that part yet, but because of the gap in time, it had to be mentioned because the characters know what they're talking about."

_"Okay! Okay! Sheesh…"_

* * *

Doof slid the affidavit in front of himself and looked at it. Then he looked at Phineas, Ferb and Candace.

He turned back to Carl. "Did you already tell Perry the Platypus about this?"

Carl nodded.

"What did he say about it?"

"Ask him yourself." Carl walked over to the doors on the opposite wall from which Steve had exited. When he pulled them open, Perry was standing there, fedora on his head, holding a cardboard box.

"Perry!" the Flynn-Fletcher siblings cried out, happy to see their pet.

Perry smiled and walked over to the table. He set down the box and went over to hug his owners. After a few moments with his family, Perry turned to Doofenshmirtz.

Doof looked him in the eyes. "You know about this?" he asked softly.

Perry nodded.

"They asked you to resign or relocate?"

Perry nodded.

"And what was your answer?"

Perry removed his fedora and pulled a folded sheet of paper from where he had tucked it beneath the band. He handed the paper to Major Monogram and replaced his hat. The Major opened the paper and scanned it before sighing and placing it in the folder on the table. He looked at the Flynn-Fletchers and Doofenshmirtz.

"Agent P was not here for the beginning of this meeting because he was clearing his things out of his lair and typing up his letter of resignation," he said. Perry nodded very slowly. "I'm afraid, regardless of what Dr. Doofenshmirtz does, Agent P isn't Agent P anymore. Now, he's just…Perry."

Doof looked at Perry. "You really do love these guys, don't you Perry the Platypus? They aren't just a cover to you. They're your family." Perry smiled and gave him a nod.

"We would be honored if you would become a part of our group, Dr. D," Phineas said. "And it would be even more special now that we can interact with Perry for who he really is, not just a mindless animal, and you can treat him more as a friend than a nemesis."

"And don't forget, Heinz," Monogram said, "You're not as young as you used to be, and neither is Ag- Perry."

Doofenshmirtz looked at the affidavit again. Carl picked up a pen from the table and held it out to the scientist. Doof looked up and stared at the pen. No one moved for what seemed like forever.

Finally, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz took the pen from Carl and placed its point on the paper. He sighed heavily, took one last look at Phineas, Ferb, Perry, and Candace, and slowly signed his name on the line.

Carl took the affidavit and handed it to Major Monogram, who looked at the signature for a long time before placing it on top of Perry's resignation letter and closing the folder.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz stood up from the table, as did the Flynn-Fletcher siblings and Perry. The brothers, sister and Platypus walked around the table to Doof.

"Thank you, Dr. D," Phineas said quietly, and he then he and Ferb, Candace and Perry all gave Dr. Doofenshmirtz a group hug.

And Doofenshmirtz hugged back. "So this is what it's like to have true friends," he said, tears already streaming down his face.

Carl looked at Monogram. "Are you crying, sir?"

Monogram shook his head no, but couldn't actually get any words out.

Finally, the group hug broke up.

"Come on, Dr. D," Phineas said. "We're on our way to the hospital to visit our friends. Wanna come?"

Doofenshmirtz smiled. "Of course."

They all turned to Monogram and Carl. "Are we done?" Phineas asked.

Monogram nodded. "Just one thing. You four and everyone else who traveled with you to 1910 can know Perry's secret, or former secret, rather, but no one else can."

"So we can't tell our parents?" Candace asked.

"No."

The siblings looked at each other and nodded. Their parents would never believe them, anyway.

Monogram and Carl stood up and joined the group on the other side of the table. There were handshakes all around, and finally, Monogram and Carl saluted Perry, and Perry saluted back. Not a single eye remained dry.

Ferb picked up Perry's box and they said goodbye to Major Monogram and Carl. Perry removed his beloved fedora and held it out to Monogram, but the Major pushed it away.

"Keep it, Perry. It's yours."

Perry smiled and pulled the hat back onto his head. No further words were exchanged and Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Perry, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz left the O.W.C.A.

**I am so sick of this story, I just want it to end already so I can get on with #8. I gotta write two more chapters, though. Ugh.**


	10. Super-Long Epilogue-Part 2

Super-Long Epilogue (Part 2)

_Ten minutes or so after Part 1_

Phineas never used to have a problem with hospitals. He also never used to have a problem with zucchini, but things change with time.

As the Flynn-Fletcher siblings, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who was carrying Perry, and Steve walked into the lobby, Phineas felt darkness overtake his emotions like a wave.

"I hate this place," Phineas grumbled as they walked past the main help desk.

"You've said that every day for the past three weeks," Candace said.

Phineas glared at his sister. "Because I hate this place."

"Why?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "Is it because the lighting is too bright? It really reflects off the white tile and white paint and white ceiling really intensely. It hurts my eyes."

"No," Phineas groaned as they continued on toward the intensive care ward.

Candace leaned closer to Doofenshmirtz and whispered, "He hates it because he finds it depressing. You know, considering the state of our friends?"

Doof didn't say anything. He just nodded in understanding and kept walking.

For the past three weeks, the Flynn-Fletcher kids had been visiting the hospital every day. When Steve was discharged from the hospital after a week and a half, he joined them.

When Phineas, Perry, and Doofenshmirtz had made the trip back through the portal to bring back everyone who had been taken, they found the group all unconscious from the intense wounds and extreme loss of blood.

* * *

"See?" the author said. "I told you I would get to it."

* * *

The eleven injured teens and young adults took up half of the intensive care ward. Two to a room, they had been paired how Phineas and Ferb had asked for them to be. Baljeet and Ginger were paired, Adyson and Django, and Stacy and Coltrane. Jenny had been placed with Jeremy since there was no more logical way to pair them, and Buford and Irving had been forced to shared a room. Isabella, who's condition was the worst, had been given her own room. Steve's flesh wound, cracked shoulder blade, and broken ankle had not warranted a room in intensive care, and he had been admitted to a regular hospital room. Thus far, after three weeks, only Buford and Jeremy had regained consciousness, for they were the strongest physically.

The routine was this: Every day, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Steve would arrive at the hospital at 9:45AM. While the others checked up on those in pairs, Phineas alone would sit in Isabella's room. It was almost as if his other friends no longer existed. He would stare at her for two hours, hoping against hope that she would wake up, or move, or show some sign of life other than the heart beat on the monitor behind him.

When they left the hospital a few hours later, Steve would return home while the Flynn-Fletcher siblings would drive to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. Dr. D had agreed to help Phineas and Ferb build super high-tech prosthetics to replace the many arms and legs that had been cut off by Slenderman's tentacle/knife. Thanks to the combined genius of the three inventors, the prosthetics were so close in appearance and function to actual arms and legs that unless one knew they were fake, you would never be able to tell the difference.

Unlike most of Phineas and Ferb's inventions, which were cranked out in less than a day, these took a long time, since they had to combine biology and human anatomy into their mechanical engineering. They didn't finish the first set (Buford's) for five days, but subsequent sets became much easier to construct, since they now were just reproducing them in different sizes. When a set was finished, they would return to the hospital with Dr. D to attach the prosthetics to their owners.

* * *

"Prosthetics: explained."

_"Okay, okay, I get it!" _Doofenshmirtz cried. _"You're gonna cover everything! I'm sorry I asked."_

"You should be sorry," Monogram quipped.

* * *

They reached the intensive care ward. Somewhere, a monitor was beeping wildly.

"'Scuse us!" a doctor yelled as he and two aids pushed the gang out of the way and rushed down the hall. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as the doctors passed all of the rooms where their friends were located and into a room at the extreme end of the hallway.

Without a word to each other, Steve and Ferb went in to see Buford and Candace went to see Jeremy. Phineas, Doofenshmirtz and Perry walked slowly down the hallway, peaking into the open doorways to see if any of the others had emerged from their comas. None had. Finally, they reached the last room, Isabella's. This door was closed.

Phineas didn't rush right in like he usually did. He just stared at the door. Doofenshmirtz shifted Perry to one arm and placed his freed hand on Phineas's shoulder. Phineas turned his head to face him, exuding sadness from every pore. There were tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

They stared at each other for several silent moments before Phineas finally said, "What if she never wakes up?"

Doof didn't have an answer for that. He didn't need to. "It's going to be alright, kid. We're here for ya." He offered an encouraging half smile, and Perry did the same. "Because, you know, I'm part of the group now."

Doof let go of Phineas's shoulder and took a step back. Phineas turned back to the door. He took a deep breath and pushed it open.

Isabella lay on the bed in the middle of the room, covered up to her chin with a crisp, white sheet. If her body had been visible, it would have been completely wrapped with bandages, to the point that she didn't even have on a hospital robe. Aside from her head, she looked rather like a mummy. Her jet-black hair had scarcely begun to grow back from the rough haircut Slenderman had given her, and her right leg, the only one of her appendages that hadn't been hacked off, was suspended in a sling, for it had been broken in three places.

Phineas sat down in a rather hard chair by the side of the bed, his only companion the consistent _*beep…beep…beep* _of the heart monitor. He sat there for a few minutes and sighed.

Phineas's gaze drifted to the bed side table. Among the box of tissues, phone, and tiny paper Dixie cups was Isabella's necklace. It was just a simple little gold cross on a chain. She had bought it a week after her near-death experience in the Amazon a few years back. She always wore it under her shirt or dress, so it wasn't usually visible, but as far as Phineas knew, she never took it off.

He could vaguely remember being at her house last summer. It had been an extremely hot day, too hot to build anything, so the gang had gone to Isabella's house and spent the day in her pool.

Phineas smiled at the memory. He picked up the little cross and looked at. He thought about that day at the pool, trying to picture what she had looked like. The memory finally registered. She had looked so cute in her purple bikini, laughing as he grabbed her legs and pulled her under. He remembered her long hair swirling around her head in the water as she smiled at him. And sure enough, there it was, hanging around her neck just above her bikini top. That little gold cross refracted the intense sunlight, giving her face a beautiful glow from below.

Phineas looked back up at the real Isabella. Even without her long, flowing mane, her unconscious face was still enchanting. He rubbed the cross between his fingers. Before he even realized what he was doing, Phineas was kneeling on the floor, his hands, fingers interlaced, resting on Isabella's bed, the cross nestled between his hands.

Phineas was not a religious man. He had only been to church to be baptized and to make his first Holy Confession and Communion. He had never been Confirmed. But he could not help it when he closed his eyes and whispered to himself:

"Please, God, don't take Isabella away from me. She means more to me than anything else in the world, even inventing. Please, let her wake up. Please, don't let her die. I can't imagine being able to live without her…please…"

He suddenly stood up and hurried out of the room. He entered the room next door, where Steve and Ferb were talking to Buford, who was examining his new mechanical left arm in the light. It really was just the internal skeleton at this point, for Phineas and Ferb had decided that getting the limbs to work and attaching them before their friends woke up was more important than finishing the visual ascetics.

Buford turned toward the door when Phineas walked in. "Hey, Dinner Bell! Nice job on the arm! Can I keep it like this? Without the skin, I mean. I could freak people out with this thing."

"Sure, whatever you want, Buford," Phineas said, and then grabbed Steve by the arm and dragged him out into the hall.

"Whoa, easy there, that's my injured arm!" Steve exclaimed. "It's still sore!"

Phineas spun around to face him. "You're religious, right?"

Steve looked confused. "Uh, yeah. More than the average person, I guess, but I'm no saint."

"I need a prayer to say for Isabella."

Steve smiled broadly. "Really?" he asked excitedly. He started to walk toward Isabella's room. "Well, if you're up for a little prayer, why don't I join you?"

"Uh, actually, I kinda wanted to be alone with her…" Phineas said quickly.

"Oh, Phineas. Don't you know prayer works better in a group?"

Phineas was silent for a moment. "No."

Steve stopped in front of Isabella's door. "Still want to be alone?"

"Well…if you think it'll help…"

They walked into Isabella's room and shut the door. Phineas looked nervous as he followed Steve to the bedside and knelt. Steve removed his hat and hung it from Isabella's elevated leg and they both folded their hands.

"Why don't I speak it, and you can just listen and say it in your head?" Steve asked.

Phineas nodded. He had suddenly lost the ability to speak. Something about this made him nervous.

Steve took a breath. "Think, o God, of our friend, Isabella, who is injured, whom we now commend to Your compassionate regard. Comfort her upon her sickbed, and ease her suffering. We beg for deliverance, and submit that no healing is too hard for the LORD, if it be His will. We therefore pray that You bless Isabella with Your loving care, renew her strength, and heal what ails her in Your loving name."

He looked at Phineas. "That's the only prayer for healing the sick I know. How about some scripture?"

Phineas shrugged, then nodded.

Steve turned back to the bed and closed his eyes again. "That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD swore unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth. Deuteronomy 11:21.

"And the LORD will take away from Isabella all injuries, and will afflict Isabella with none of the terrible diseases of Egypt which you have known, but will lay them on all those who hate you. Deuteronomy 7:15."

Phineas gave Steve a confused look.

"I'm paraphrasing that one, of course," Steve told him. They sat in silence for a few moments. "Anything you'd like to say?" Steve asked Phineas.

Phineas opened his eyes and looked at Isabella's face. Though not conscious, she looked like she was in pain.

Phineas closed his eyes again and leaned into his folded hands. A silent tear began to roll down his face as he finally found his voice. "This is all my fault. It's all my fault. I should be the one lying there, not her. Seeing her hurt like that is more painful than if it had happened to me."

"This isn't your fault, Phineas," Steve said. "How were you supposed to know we were going to get trapped by an avalanche in the middle of Slenderman's stomping grounds?"

Phineas suddenly had a flash of anger. "Don't ever say that name ever again!"

"Okay, sorry."

Phineas leaned back into his hands. "LORD, God, whichever you prefer, whatever I did to deserve this, I am sorry." Tears were now streaming down his geometric face.

When Steve was sure Phineas wasn't going to say anything else, he said, "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:9-10. LORD, please heal Isabella and all of our friends. Give them the strength to pull through despite their injuries. Help Phineas, Ferb, and Dr. D as they work to replace their missing pieces. Protect the drivers and the crews and the officals-oh, sorry, I slipped into 'NASCAR pre-race invocation mode.' For you so loved the world that you gave your only son to us, in Jesus' name, Amen."

"Amen," Phineas said, his voice cracking.

Steve stood and retrieved his white Ford Racing hat from his makeshift hat rack. "I'll leave you two alone," he said, and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Phineas wasn't sure how long he knelt there. Only when his knees began to ache did he finally stand. He looked at the chained cross he still held in his hand. He undid the clasp and, as gently as he could, put one end around Isabella's neck and fastened it. The cross rested on the sheet just below her chin.

And then, Phineas did something he hadn't done before in the three weeks he had been visiting her. He touched her face. Gently, as if afraid to wake her up, or afraid she would break, he caressed her cheek, and brushed against her chin, trying to memorize every contour. He reached her other cheek and stopped, looking at her closed eyelids.

There was something he hadn't noticed before. Her eyelids were moving. Not as if they were about to open, but as if her eyeballs beneath were moving around, as sometimes happens when you're dreaming.

Phineas jumped. He leaned over her and stared at her eyelids, mesmerized just by the fact that there was movement.

And then, very slowly, almost as if they were afraid to, Isabella's eyes opened.

"Ph…Phin…eas?"

**I'm not going to lie, I shed a tear or two writing this. **

**Originally, this was supposed to be the second-to-last chapter, but it was getting kinda long, so I decided to split it into two, which means there will be two more chapters. This story just doesn't want to end, as much as I want it to.**

**WHY WON'T THIS STORY DIE?!**


	11. Super-long Epilogue-Part 3

Super-Long Epilogue (Part 3)

Four and a half seconds after Part 2, give or take a few nanoseconds

"Ph…Phin…eas?"

Phineas was shocked. He leaned a little closer, for she was speaking so softly he couldn't hear her. "Isabella?"

"Phine…as…my chest…really…hurts…"

"What? Oh, right, hospital…"

He ran to the door and called for a doctor. Two free doctors rushed in and immediately began asking her questions, feeling all over her and asking, "Does this hurt?"

At some point, Ferb, Candace, Dr. D and Perry, and Steve came in, but Phineas wasn't paying attention and didn't notice them.

Nearly forty-five minutes later, the doctors left. They had hooked Isabella up to a morphine IV drip, the needle stuck in the remaining upper portion of her right arm. They ran a few tests, made her more comfortable, and told her to go to sleep. As they left the room, they told the group of observers not to stay too long; Isabella needed her rest. The entire time, though, they had left the blanket covering her, and at no point had she seen her arms or legs, or lack thereof.

The six approached Isabella slowly.

"Hey, Isabella," Candace said softly. "How're you feeling?"

Isabella took a deep breath. She had gained a surprising amount of strength in the last 45 minutes. "I feel like I've been stabbed about fifteen times and had my arms and legs chopped off," she said somewhat angrily.

Candace was taken aback. She took a step backward. "Okay, I'll admit, that was a poor choice of words. And you were stabbed sixteen times."

Isabella coughed a few times. "I can't get a good breath of air, either. I have to breathe really hard."

"The doctor said your left lung was slightly damaged," Phineas told her, sorrow in his voice. "It may never return to normal."

Steve stepped a bit closer. "I don't want to interrupt, but, before I forget, because I know I will, I got the new transmission for the 'Cuda about a week ago and it's all put back together and waiting for you."

Isabella glared at him, her face suddenly burning with anger. "Incase you haven't seen the extent of my injuries, ya idiot, I can't drive! I have no arms and only one leg!" She punctuated her outburst with a string of coughs.

It was Phineas's turn to glare at Steve, who didn't appear to react at all to Isabella's insult. He pushed the slightly older man behind him and stepped right up next to the bed.

"Actually, Isabella, you can, and will, be able to drive and do all the normal things you would normally be able to do again. Look." Phineas yanked back the sheet covering Isabella's body as if he were unveiling one of his inventions.

"Whoa!" Isabella said softly. Lying under the covers the whole time were two skeletal mechanical arms and a mechanical leg attached to her body.

"They're not finished yet, but when they are, no one will be able to tell you have robotic limbs," Phineas told her. "Go ahead! Try 'em out!"

Isabella stared at the arms, an unsure look on her face. "Um, how do they work? How do I use them?"

Phineas's usual smile appeared on his face and he stepped closer to show Isabella. He cradled one of the mechanical arms in his hands and spoke as if he were talking about any of his other inventions. "These computer-controlled mechanical limbs are powered by your own electrical brain waves and are connected directly to your severed nerve endings. This way, you can control them without really thinking about it just as you would your…" Phineas's smile vanished and his voice trailed off mid-sentence. "Uh…your…real arms."

He looked up at Isabella's face. She was looking down at her fake left arm in Phineas's hands and didn't realize he was staring at her until she noticed he wasn't speaking anymore and was still holding on to her. When she finally looked at him, there were tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Guys?" Isabella said. "Could you give-" She had to stop to inhale since her lung capacity was now lower. "-us a few minutes? Alone?"

Candace understood Isabella's message. She literally dragged Ferb, Doof and Perry, and Steve from the room. "Let's go! Nothing to see here!" she barked.

When the door had closed behind them, Isabella finally spoke up. "What's wrong, Phineas?" she sighed.

He didn't answer right away. He just kept staring at her until his tears spilled over and he had to shut his eyes. "This is all my fault," he said. "I never should have suggested that time traveling trip."

"Phineas-" Deep breath. "-This is not your fault."

"Yeah, Steve said the same thing. But it is. If I hadn't been so scared to say 'I love you' and just let it happen, I never would have felt the need to come up with something romantic for Valentine's Day." Phineas thought about that for a moment. "Oh, wait. I still would have. But it wouldn't have been something like a back-in-time train ride. I thought of that because I wanted to do something romantic for you for Valentine's Day, but I was afraid to be alone with you, so I picked something that I could include all of our friends in."

Isabella stared at Phineas with unblinking eyes. She had stopped listening four and a half sentences ago.

"Did…did you just say 'I love you?' To me?" She asked.

Phineas blushed and looked away. He hadn't even realized it. "I, uh, I finally grasped it when I thought I'd lost you forever. I…I realized that I've been really stupid about this whole thing. I'm tired of lying to myself. I love you, Isabella. You mean more to me than anything."

He let go of her mechanical arm and turned to sit down on the edge of the bed. For the first time, without even thinking about it, Isabella lifted her arm and placed the hand on his shoulder. Much to her surprise, he pushed it off.

"Isabella, you're my best friend, and nothing will ever change that. But I realized that there isn't really much of a line between friendship and love…you know, depending on who the other person is. I mean, I don't _love_ Buford and Baljeet." He turned his head to face her. "But I do love you, Isabella. And shouldn't the one you love the most be your best friend?"

Tears were welling up in Isabella's eyes, but they were joyous tears. She reached up and put her skeletal metal hand on Phineas's shoulder again. He considered the mechanical limb with a sudden look of anger. Then he pushed it off his shoulder again and stood up.

"And this isn't good enough!" he shouted. "It isn't enough that you can move it like a normal arm and feel with it like a normal arm."

"Why?"

"Because…because…because I can't….feel…_you_! I don't want to hold a robot's hand! I want to hold _your_ hand. Your own natural flesh and blood. This machine isn't good enough!" He turned to look at her again. "And besides, you may still be beautiful, but those robotic limbs are kinda creepy."

Isabella held up the mechanical hand to examine it more closely. She had to admit, it was kinda freakish.

Phineas faced her again and stepped closer. He reached for her as if to take her hands in his, but quickly changed his mind and grasped her by the shoulders, the only part of her body besides her head that wasn't wrapped in bandages.

"I'm gonna fix this," he whispered to her. "I'm gonna figure out how to get your arms back."

"How are you-" Breath. "-going to do that?"

Phineas looked into her eyes. His breath had suddenly been taken away. It was if all at once, all his emotional pain, all of his anger, and all of his hatred towards Slenderman had just been switched off. It was the first time since Isabella had been taken, the first time since he realized he truly loved her, that he was able to just stare into her eyes.

* * *

"Especially since her eyes were closed for the last three weeks," Carl observed.

"Uh-huh," the author said, trying not get distracted by the interruption.

* * *

"I don't know yet," Phineas said, leaning slightly closer. "I'll think of something. I always do." He leaned closer still.

It was Isabella's turn to blush. She smiled, too. "Are…are you going to kiss me, Phineas?"

Phineas smiled through his tears. "Do you want me to?"

"Only since I was six."

* * *

Three doctors rushed into Isabella's room. They found Phineas leaning into Isabella's lips. Both teens had their eyes closed in absolute bliss. The monitor beside Isabella's bed was beeping urgently.

One of the doctors physically pulled Phineas off of her. The other two were examining the monitor screen.

"Young man, I'm going to half to ask that you not do that again," the doctor said.

"Why?"

"Because it makes her blood pressure skyrocket and her heart rate increase, and in her condition, it could be very dangerous to her health. Now, I think you've kept her up long enough. It's time for you to go," the doctor said, pointing at the door.

Phineas looked past him at the girl lying in the bed. She smiled at him.

"Bye, Isabella. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Phineas. Hurry back."

He gave a wave and left.

Isabella sighed with both content and depression. _It figures. He finally kisses me and it turns out it could kill me. Just my luck. _

And with that, the physical exertion took its toll, and as the beeping of the heart monitor calmed down, Isabella fell asleep.

* * *

"Whew!" the author sighed. "Thank goodness. Only one chapter left."

"Yeah, I'm getting hungry," Monogram added. "I gotta go home soon."

"I'm getting tired," Carl said, and glanced at his watch. "Whoa. Is it really that late already?"

_"I have no concept of what time it is because my lab doesn't have any windows,"_ Doofenshmirtz said. _"But I'm kinda getting hungry, too."_

_"Ngrgrgrgrgrgrgrgrg."_

_"And Perry the Platypus is, too."_

"Alright, don't worry. The last chapter- or rather, the last part of the epilogue- shouldn't be that long. It shouldn't be, but I'm making this up as I go, so it might end up being longer."

Monogram looked at his watch. "You have fifteen minutes before I have to leave to go home for dinner."

"Point taken. Getting on with it."

**I really want this story to be over. I** **actually kinda hate it now. The next chapter is the last one for sure, but I actually have to do a little bit of research to write it, so it might take a little bit longer. **

**By the way, Phineas and Isabella go through a lot of rapid emotion changes in this chapter. Like, really drastic changes in no time at all. I'm really not too proud of this chapter. This is about the fluffiest chapter I've written (even though it's kinda important to the plot) so I guess I'm just not good at writting fluff. I need an actual plot line or I confuse myself. I guess. I don't know. I just want this damn story to be over. **


	12. Super-Long Epilogue-Part 4

**Warning: Religious tie-ins to Slenderman lure ahead**

Super-Long Epilogue (Part 4)

_An unspecified number of days later (Let's say six)_

Phineas walked into Isabella's hospital room and closed the door behind him. Isabella was asleep, but that was okay.

He walked over to the bed and lifted the covers to climb in next to her. He put one arm around her and pulled her in close. Though she remained asleep, she smiled.

Phineas nuzzled the back of her neck with his forehead. Her hair had grown back to about a quarter of its original length. He reveled in just how silky and soft it was on his face. He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't care if he fell asleep here. Holding onto Isabella felt so natural.

At some point, Phineas shifted slightly and felt cold metal against his leg.

_Ugh. Those stupid prosthetics. I gotta come up with something better. _

He tightened his grip around Isabella's body and started thinking.

* * *

"How ya feeling, Irving?" Steve asked.

"Okay, I guess. Except I can't see anything. Just one big blur."

Steve and Ferb looked at each other. "Oh, yeah. We found your glasses," Steve said. "What did we do with them, Ferb?"

Ferb shrugged. "We probably left them in 1910."

"That's okay," Irving said. "I have a spare pair in my desk drawer at home."

"Okay. We can stop at your house and bring them to you tomorrow," Steve told him.

"Really? You guys are the best! Do you think you could bring me my laptop, too? I'm really bored here."

Steve and Ferb looked at each other again.

"You left my laptop in 1910, too, didn't you?"

"And your camera. But we do have your walkie-talkies."

Irving hung his head. "Aw. I had all my Phineas and Ferb video on that computer."

"Well," Ferb said thoughtfully, "It wouldn't be much trouble to go back in time again and get them."

"Really? You'd do that for me? You guys really are the best!"

"Sure. Come on, Ferb, let's see if Phineas wants to go with us."

They said goodbye to Irving and headed to Isabella's room. Ferb pushed open the door and looked in. Steve looked in over his head. Phineas was still cuddled up to Isabella.

"I'm gonna take a guess and say he doesn't want to go," Steve said. "Let's see if Perry and Dr. D want to come."

Ferb nodded and closed the door quietly.

"That was so cute, I could just gag," Steve said.

Ferb stuck out his tongue and made a gagging sound as he pointed down his throat.

"Exactly."

* * *

Ferb, Steve, Doofenshmirtz and Perry walked into the museum and headed for the "Gadgets Through the Ages" exhibit.

"So you guys just waltz in here and use the time machine whenever you feel like it?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

Ferb nodded. "Phineas and I could probably get away with murder in this town if we wanted to."

"I can't get away with jaywalking in this town," Doof complained. "Do you realize I got fourteen jaywalking tickets last year alone? And three of those I was in the crosswalk and cop ticketed me anyway."

They reached the chariot-like time machine and climbed in. Ferb set the date and time. Steve leaned over and looked at the settings.

"So you're taking us back to exactly two seconds after we left the first time we were there?"

Ferb nodded and pulled the lever without another word. There was a flash of purple and the time machine disappeared from the museum floor.

The janitor walked in a few moments later and stared at the empty space. "Cheryl?" he called. "The time machine's gone again."

"Ask me if I care. It'll be back."

"What if it doesn't return?"

"Then it's coming out of your paycheck."

* * *

The purple flashed again and the time machine appeared next to the crane car in the little freight yard.

"I thought this thing could only move in time, not space," Steve said.

"I modified it," Ferb replied.

"Of course you did."

They jumped out of the time machine and Ferb ran one track over to where the battered charter train sat to retrieve Irving's things. While he was gone, Doofenshmirtz noticed something that sent a chill up his spine.

"Uh, Steve? It is Steve, right?"

"Yeah, it's Steve. What's up, Dr. D?"

"This is exactly two seconds after we left the first time, right?"

"Well, more like thirty seconds now, but yeah."

Doofenshmirtz pointed to the tracks just below the crane car's boom and then at the space between the crane car and the charter train. "So shouldn't there be two dead Slendermans…Slendermen?…right there and right there?"

Ferb returned with Irving's camera and laptop and placed them in the time machine.

"Ferb, we need to get out of here. Now!" Steve said, panic evident in his voice.

Ferb blinked and gave him a questioning look.

"The Slendermen bodies are gone!"

Ferb turned around to see for himself. All four of them were now facing the same direction.

"We materialized here exactly two seconds after we left the first time," Doof said. "That wasn't nearly enough time for someone to find the bodies and move them. Which can only mean-"

He stopped speaking. Two huge shadows that each clearly showed their owners had eight tentacles apiece had just fallen over three men and platypus.

"They're right behind us, aren't they?"

"Uh-huh," Steve said, and Ferb nodded. "Okay, nobody look at 'em," Steve instructed. "Irving was telling me about these things. If you don't see 'em, they can't take you."

"But…we've seen their shadows," Doof observed. "Won't that count?"

"Don't give them any ideas!" Steve yelled, but he'd barely gotten the sentence out before tentacles wrapped around each of them at the midsection.

"Doof, you're an idiot," Steve groaned.

The tentacles picked them up off the ground and lifted them high into the air. They could all see the two Slendermen standing side-by-side. One had grabbed Perry and Doof, the other had grabbed Ferb and Steve.

Perry thought fast. He leaned his head down as far as he could and reached up with his trapped hand. He managed to get a paw under his hat and extract one lightsaber. The short green blade ignited, and Perry immediately sliced through the tentacle holding him. He fell to the ground, but stuck the landing. He flipped the lightsaber over in his hand and threw the laser sword like a spear. The emerald blade flew with incredible speed and found it's target with machine-like precision, impaling Slenderman's head through the featureless face.

"Yaaaaaahhhhh!" Doof yelled as the monster fell over, taking him with it.

Without missing a beat, Perry pulled out his other lightsaber, ignited the blue blade and threw this one at the identical monster holding Ferb and Steve. The improvised spear hit its mark, this time through the side of Slenderman's head. Ferb and Steve were silent as the monster fell.

* * *

"Final Score: Perry-4; Slenderman-ZIP!"

* * *

Perry pulled Doof's head from where it had stuck in a snow bank.

"Brrrr! Thanks, Perry the Platypus."

Perry retrieved his lightsabers and returned them to their place under his fedora.

Ferb and Steve stumbled through the snow to where Perry and Doof were standing.

"Okay, that's it," Steve grumbled. "We need to get rid of these things once and for all."

"How?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "They came back to life as soon as we left last time."

Ferb pulled a cigarette lighter from his pocket and flicked on the flame.

"Good idea, Ferb," Steve said. "Wait, why do you have that? You don't smoke."

Ferb shrugged. "I carry around a lot of random miscellaneous items."

* * *

They pulled the two bodies on top of each other and Perry cut them up into little pieces with his lightsabers like a sushi chef would. Strangely, there was no blood or guts. It was like cutting up rubber. Ferb found a can of oil in the little shed behind the station and doused the diced Slendermen with the flammable liquid to help get the fire started.

"It looks like a big salad," Steve quipped.

Ferb flicked the lighter on and tossed it onto the pile. The oil immediately caught fire and soon the chunks of monster beneath were being consumed by the flame.

"Um, what is that?" Doof said, pointing to the smoke rising from fire.

The others looked closer. There appeared to be little shreds of glowing paper rising with the smoke a few at a time.

"It looks like their collecting right there," Steve said, pointing to a spot in the air about eight feet from the center of the flames. They stared, unsure whether they should be scared or not. Slowly, the little pieces assembled, taking the shape of a man wearing a white ancient-looking robe.

Finally, the last piece of paper attached to the bottom of the man's foot and the figure started to move. "AHHHHHHHHH! Free at last!"

"Whoa," Ferb said.

The floating man smiled down at them with a kind expression on his face. "Thank you. You have freed me."

"Uh, you're welcome?" Steve said. "Who are you, exactly?"

"I am Ira, one of the fallen angels."

"Ooooookaaaaay?"

"Would you like some further explanation?"

They all nodded.

"'Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, but he was defeated and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world – he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.' From the Book of Revelations."

He received blank stares in return.

"When Satan, the dragon, rose up in heaven with his dark angels, angels he had corrupted, I was one of them. I knew not what I was doing. It was as if I were having a terrible nightmare from which I could not awaken. I was cast down from heaven by Michael the Archangel, along with Satan and many others who had been corrupted. At some point, Satan chose me to become a slave to do his bidding on earth, for he was restrained to Hades and could not leave the underworld. He imprisoned me in the very fabric of this monster, which was dubbed 'Slenderman.' Apparently."

"I don't get it," Doof said.

"Okay, I sort of follow," Steve said thoughtfully, "Go on."

"I ran amuck on earth, kidnapping unsuspecting inhabitants, and bringing them to a supernatural underworld cave, where I would torture them to death while my true self watched from within with horror, unable to stop the pain I was causing."

"So, why are-_were_-there two of you?" Steve asked.

"The inner one, in the cave, was the real me. The outer one in the real world was just a vessel for traversing the Earth, like a shroud. I could push the shroud through a imploding portal to the outside world, anywhere. I could change my location instantly without walking. But, I suppose, in truth, there were pieces of me in both the shroud and the inner cave dweller."

"Are you following this, Perry the Platypus?" Doof whispered to the platypus. Perry nodded.

"By burning the bodies, you have freed me from the evil power of Satan. For that I thank you," Ira said.

"Hey, if you're an angel, can you heel our friends?" Steve asked.

Ira hung his head. "I am sorry, but I cannot. I no longer have the power to heal. It was taken from me by the devil."

"Could you ask somebody else to help us?"

"It doesn't work like that, bro. Besides, even if it did, it would totally destroy the plot for episode 8."

"Oh. Okay."

"Now I must return to the heavens, and beg for God's forgiveness." The angel turned and flew into the cold night sky.

"Huh," Doof said. "So who was that guy, exactly?"

Steve wacked Ferb on the arm to get his attention. "Hey, dude, we just freed an angel from Satan. That's pretty awesome."

They hi-fived, and then hi-fived Perry, too.

"I have no idea what just happened," Doofenshmirtz said. The fire died out as they walked back over and climbed into the time machine.

"Read the Bible. That's all the explanation I have for you," Steve said.

Ferb changed the settings on the time machine to take them home and pulled the lever. There was a flash of purple light around the contraption and it disappeared.

* * *

Phineas sprang up in the hospital bed next to Isabella. "Stem cells! That's how I'll do it! Stem cells!"

* * *

"And I'll end it right like that, on a cliff hanger."

Monogram and Carl applauded. The author stood and took an overly dramatic bow. "Thank you, thank you."

_"Hey, I have a question,"_ Doofenshmirtz said over the phone.

"What?" the author said with exasperation.

_"How exactly did Phineas and Ferb explain their friends' injuries to their friends' parents?"_

The author stared off into space. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed.

_"What?"_

"I don't know how to explain that!"

"Yeah, that's kinda a big thing to leave out," Carl said.

The author fell backwards into the rolling chair and leaned his chin on his fist, a look of deep thought on his face. "Okay, look. It's not really that important, and I'll tell you why. The adults…well, the parents, anyway, Doofenshmirtz is still important…aren't important to the plot at all. They aren't even going to appear in any of the rest of the stories in this timeline. They don't have to. They aren't important. It's like…all the parents just disappeared, but non of the kids even realize it. They're just gone! That's it. I'm not making it part of the story that they actually disappear, they just aren't in the story any more."

There was silence for a moment. Monogram and Carl stared at the author blankly. "That is a really major plot hole," Monogram finally said.

The author stood up abruptly and walked to the door. "So sue me. I'm going home. Thanks for letting me use the sound room."

And with that he left. He very quickly returned. "And by the way, these little interjections that have nothing to do with the rest of the story…I don't really think it works, so I'm not going to do them anymore."

"No arguments here," Carl said. "It was kinda dumb."

_"Ah, Sergei the Snail, what a totally expected long overdue not a surprise. Okay, guys, Sergei the Snail is here to free us, so, I'll just do today's evil scheme tomorrow. It's too late to do it now."_

"I'm good with that. I'm going home," Monogram said.

_"K, bye!"_

_"Ngrgrgrgrgr."_

*click*

**Alleluia! This story is finally over!**

**Now, this is usually the part where I give some kind of hint about the next story in the seriew, but I kinda can't. The only hint I can give will give away the whole plot. The title will be ****_Molecular "Fusion." _**

**Until next time,**

**EDD17SP**


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